Be OK

[~live2tell~]

Be OK

Damn… I don’t know what to say
I wish I’d never stumbled into today
All I can do is hope and pray
That you will pull through, be OK
See I never really expected any of this
I close my eyes and it’s you that I miss
I always dreamed of us finding bliss
Together, somehow, still I wish
We’ve had our highs and lows
You supported me through the blows
That my heart took, listened to my woes
I can’t accept that it’s come to a close
The things I did, I know I made a mistake
Words I uttered, they were mostly fake
Saying them truly made my heart break
I thought it was for the best, for your sake
Please be strong, don’t leave me now
We can sort out our differences somehow
I’m offering my arm, use it as your bough
My shoulder is yours that is my vow
It never should have happened this way
How I long for a never-ending yesterday
Still, all I can do is hope and pray
That you will pull through, please be OK.


Any feedback appreciated as always, thanks.

 

[Bender]

Very clever poem. I like the way you made it sound like a direct personal misfortune, but in the end it turns out to be a suffering felt through someone else. That stiked me as the outstanding feature in this verse.

Deep and a little cryptic; I like it in its context.

 

[k69atie]

As usual sara this is a fantasic piece of writing, i think this has to be my favourite poem of yours so far. Very emotional, it made me eyes water.

keep up the good work girl, reps for you

 

[DJ Heartless]

dame i was really felling this one very nice

 

[kman_69]

nice drop sara!

good to see u writing again! lol

i liked the tie in at the end...was very cool


1 critisism id have would be that the rhymes were a little choppy in places...like the line finished early to fit the rhyme sorta thing

but other than that...dope drop!

peace.

 

[Hennessy]

good piece.

i liked it overall, the flow to it was very smooth and the transitions were solid, as far as content goes it was good as well.

I’m offering my arm, use it as your bough
My shoulder is yours that is my vow


nice little line there.

 

[~live2tell~]

Very clever poem. I like the way you made it sound like a direct personal misfortune, but in the end it turns out to be a suffering felt through someone else. That stiked me as the outstanding feature in this verse.

Deep and a little cryptic; I like it in its context.

Thanks for your FB, although I have to be honest, I wasn't trying to be cryptic or clever. This is something I didn't really have to think about it just came outta me. Reading it again now though I can understand your comments. Thanks alot, its appreciated.

 

[~live2tell~]

As usual sara this is a fantasic piece of writing, i think this has to be my favourite poem of yours so far. Very emotional, it made me eyes water.

keep up the good work girl, reps for you

Thanks for all your positive FB Katie, its very kind of you to read my poems and take the time to post your thoughts, much appreciated.

 

[~live2tell~]

dame i was really felling this one very nice

Thanks for taking the time to read and post your thoughts, I'm pleased it was something you understood and could feel. Thx.

 

[~live2tell~]

nice drop sara!

good to see u writing again! lol

i liked the tie in at the end...was very cool


1 critisism id have would be that the rhymes were a little choppy in places...like the line finished early to fit the rhyme sorta thing

but other than that...dope drop!

peace.

Yeah not sure how long it will last for but thx it feels good to be back! Yeah I understood prolly a few lines were choppy, like I said previously I didn't really work on it, took me like five mins in total, just things I was thinking and feeling that I had to get down on paper - its been awhile! Thanks for your FB I appreciate it and I'm glad you liked it anyway, ta

 

[~live2tell~]

good piece.

i liked it overall, the flow to it was very smooth and the transitions were solid, as far as content goes it was good as well.

I’m offering my arm, use it as your bough
My shoulder is yours that is my vow


nice little line there.

Hey thx for posting your thoughts, always appreciate your feedback, means alot to get props from someone who writes as well as yourself You haven't dropped a poem in a while - whats goin on?

 

[k69atie]

Thanks for all your positive FB Katie, its very kind of you to read my poems and take the time to post your thoughts, much appreciated.

No probs sara, i enjoy reading them

 

[DaRoYaLbRaT]

i was feeling this grl, liked the flow.. smiple yet affective.. sincere was 1 of the 1st wrds that came2 my mind just after i finished this aswel.. deff feelin this grl..

pz

 

[~live2tell~]

i was feeling this grl, liked the flow.. smiple yet affective.. sincere was 1 of the 1st wrds that came2 my mind just after i finished this aswel.. deff feelin this grl..

pz

Thx for your comments Brat, glad you liked it and it was something you felt. Not seen you drop anything in a while so I look forward to that I hope

 

[The.Menace]

This is a great poem girl, nothing more to say. It's a great poem and I know what cha talking about - be good sarah, be good aiight.

 

[True Thugz]

That was nice. It flowed really nicely.
Good range of emotions in there.

Keep it up.

 

[~live2tell~]

That was nice. It flowed really nicely.
Good range of emotions in there.

Keep it up.

thankies, glad you liked ta for taking the time to read and post your thoughts

 

[~live2tell~]

This is a great poem girl, nothing more to say. It's a great poem and I know what cha talking about - be good sarah, be good aiight.

hey thanks means alot coming from you dear, i'm good k