Bird

[Katarina]

I wrote this almost exactly four years ago. I figured most people haven't read it and it's one of my favourites of my own poems.

Bird


Love is like a bird
If you hold it too loose, it'll fly away
And if you hold it too tight, it'll die
As long as the bird had time to play
I knew I would be able to keep it alive

Then I started strangling it with my hand
While yelling at it not to quit on me
It stopped breathing and I couldn't understand
Why it had suddenly decided to leave

But I killed it.
Not on purpose but I was just so scared
Of losing the only bird I ever cared for
I try to focus on the good times we shared
Though it's hard, since it's not around anymore

I try to move on and act like it never existed
Because it hurts to think that I'm the one to blame
So I just pretend that it's not really dead
And go on living the same way every day

But I killed it!
And now it's time to reap what I've sown
It's time to admit the things I chose to deny
Time to pay for things that I did on my own
It's time to let the wounded bird fly

 

[k69atie]

wow katarina this is a great piece of writing really deep and emotional i really enjoyed it :thumb:

 

[Katarina]

Thank you katie Much love.

 

[k69atie]

no probs, you got talent girl

 

[kimbo_thug]

feels more like a story , but i really like tha meaning of it
this shits oringal girl never read anything like before
good work xx

 

[Katarina]

Thank you. Much love!

 

[Cown]

That was an amazing poem Kat, you wrote that at the age of 15? Holy shit well done, I love the imagery you portray in the piece :thumb: beautiful

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Yeah I like the metaphor style of poetry, but imagine reading it without the "love" part hehe you'd think it was a poem about animal cruelty But great work and amazing for a 15 year old too!

 

[Saint33]

that was real nice, good metaphor. i rilly like the ending props :thumb:

 

[The.Menace]

it's a very good poem, even though it's girly, u know.... I won't cry over a love poem, but I like it and I feel like you got a great point, I'm exactly that kind of bird that needs air to breath too, so I think I can imagin the whole situation and.... nice to see back.

 

[Katarina]

Cown: When I wrote this I had been writing for two years. Practice makes perfect It's not so much about talent. Thanks.

LOL thanks artisticgurl.

Thank you Saint.

Menace: Bah, I know you cried haha. I'm like that bird too, I think. Maybe I wasn't when I wrote it but I am now. Thanks for peeping.

Much much love!

 

[Hennessy]

i liked this, the opening was very simple, easy to understand, but that made the ending alot better. you really had some nice points to it, and these were my favorite lines.


Then I started strangling it with my hand
While yelling at it not to quit on me
It stopped breathing and I couldn't understand
Why it had suddenly decided to leave
this part here was probably the best imo, really nice visualization and imagery, and good metaphor


But I killed it!
And now it's time to reap what I've sown
It's time to admit the things I chose to deny
Time to pay for things that I did on my own
It's time to let the wounded bird fly


the ending was nice as well, good last line really sealed it off.

nice to see some work from you again, i never peep this site anymore, but hey, good to see some things never change.

 

[Tha Thug Poet]

great metaphor Kat.

I liked the first part the most

Love is like a bird
If you hold it too loose, it'll fly away
And if you hold it too tight, it'll die
As long as the bird had time to play
I knew I would be able to keep it alive

keep up the Great writing.

 

[GhettoStar]

I wrote this almost exactly four years ago. I figured most people haven't read it and it's one of my favourites of my own poems.

Bird


Love is like a bird
If you hold it too loose, it'll fly away
And if you hold it too tight, it'll die
As long as the bird had time to play
I knew I would be able to keep it alive

Then I started strangling it with my hand
While yelling at it not to quit on me
It stopped breathing and I couldn't understand
Why it had suddenly decided to leave

But I killed it.
Not on purpose but I was just so scared
Of losing the only bird I ever cared for
I try to focus on the good times we shared
Though it's hard, since it's not around anymoreI try to move on and act like it never existed
Because it hurts to think that I'm the one to blame
So I just pretend that it's not really dead
And go on living the same way every day

But I killed it!
And now it's time to reap what I've sown
It's time to admit the things I chose to deny
Time to pay for things that I did on my own
It's time to let the wounded bird fly

The metaphoric rhymes and the imagery was on point on this as well as tackled the subject of love in a whole new way that hasnt been addressed. I love how you compare love to a brid, for a bird is both graceful and free but when cuahgt and not treated with the proper can be fragile and break easily. This imagery can be realted to many precious items such a a newborn and such. I was kind of confused by the last part about killing it and letting the wounded brid fly, but Im sure you can explain that to me in further deatail. Once again thanks for writing and sharing this piece it was b-a-n-a-n-a-s!!

 

[kman_69]

one critisism:

It stopped breathing and I couldn't understand
Why it had suddenly decided to leave

^^it died, and decided to leave?....its a bit contradictory..


other than that....really tight peice, i can definetly relate!

keep em commin kat

peace.

 

[~live2tell~]

Pretty deep in how you compared love to a bird, yet you spoke with great honesty, it's cleverly written yet still full of emotion. It seems wuite powerful too, definitely something you should be proud of writing.

 

[Elmira]

I wrote this almost exactly four years ago. I figured most people haven't read it and it's one of my favourites of my own poems.

Bird


Love is like a bird
If you hold it too loose, it'll fly away
And if you hold it too tight, it'll die
As long as the bird had time to play
I knew I would be able to keep it alive

Then I started strangling it with my hand
While yelling at it not to quit on me
It stopped breathing and I couldn't understand
Why it had suddenly decided to leave

But I killed it.
Not on purpose but I was just so scared
Of losing the only bird I ever cared for
I try to focus on the good times we shared
Though it's hard, since it's not around anymore

I try to move on and act like it never existed
Because it hurts to think that I'm the one to blame
So I just pretend that it's not really dead
And go on living the same way every day

But I killed it!
And now it's time to reap what I've sown
It's time to admit the things I chose to deny
Time to pay for things that I did on my own
It's time to let the wounded bird fly

Oh, baby blue, how I've missed your words.

With this, I really liked the shock factor -
(But I killed it. But I killed it!).

I'm not so sure I like the all-around comparison here, to love being like a bird. What are you doing? Strangling this poor, helpless creature... who has no means to fight back. No hands of it's own to impose on you; I know it's all metaphorical. But. Yelling at something that can never reach you? That can't compare to love's enormity. Love is imposing; tremendous (think oceans, mountains... not little birds) in scope and weight. Unbearable, and it always fights back, through, and around. It depends on nothing but itself, lives for nothing but itself. It doesn't give up as easily. It won't let you kill it, strangle it, forget it just because you want to. Not by physical means.

ps: I have no idea what I'm talking about, at least 94.9% of the time.

 

[Kadafi Son]

This is tha best poem I've read all month. I completely feel you on this. (sorry 4 replyin months later). The 2nd part grabbed me becuz thinking of the metaphors of holding a bird and holding on to love is somethin' real creative for you to do. You REALLY REALLY NEED 2 DO SOME MORE, PLEASE. But what I gotta say is no different from what you already heard from everybody else. Just keep up tha poetry

Peace!