Checking in for Old Times Sake

Da_Funk

Well-Known Member
#42
Substance abuse (in my experience) has nothing to do with smarts, morals, or ethics. It has everything to do with feelings of alienation as well as just being detached from everyday life and the people you come into contact with. Take me for example. On the outside I'm in the 1% for people my age. Yet inside I'm a train wreck. It's like there is a hole inside of me, and no matter what I do it just gets bigger over time. I've attempted to fill that void with everything from drugs, alcohol, a relationship, academic & work success, money and nothing has worked. It all just sinks into an abyss that only gets bigger and bigger each year.

Where do the feelings of alienation and detachment come from? I wish I could tell you. What I can tell you is that I've met two people in my entire life who I"ve felt I can pour my soul out to. One of them I no longer talk to. I mean, as much as I would love to, I can barely even talk to my parents; I can talk sports, TV shows, movies, and perhaps work a little bit with my Dad but that's about it. My mom, forget any type of conversation, let alone any type of talk about feeling or emotion. My brother, I love to death, but we hardly said five words to each other a day even when we lived together. I moved to the other side of the world, literally, and I've talked to each of my parents twice for perhaps ten minutes each time and nothing was said. I don't know... maybe it's me. It probably is me.

So if the detachment and alienation came from anywhere, it was probably home. Until someone figures out how to address problems like the ones mentioned above substance abuse will continue to flourish. And my "problems" likely pale in comparison to those of others. Putting people who use drugs in jail is like putting a bandaid over a torn off limb to stop the bleeding.

I hope the above doesn't sound too woe is me. I don't blame anyone or hold any grudges against anyone, people are the way the are. I accept that. I know what I did in the past, and I accept it. It is what it is and I just keep on living my life.
 

Casey

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#43
Funk, might I suggest that hole may be a sense of unfulfillment?

Money, Success, Relationships, Drugs and Alcohol, at their core, are all selfish paths. They are lifestyle constructs of a capitalist society that encourages EXTREME individualism and they aren't emotionally healing.

Could it be that what you're missing is a cause, a purpose, a raison d'etre? An entirely selfless endeavour where you play a part in making this fucked up world a better place for humanity as a whole? Find that cause, something you believe in passionately. Life is nothing without passion and there aren't many things more fulfilling than a selfless passion. And in those things, you tend to find like-minded individuals..... and build friendships of the exact kind to where you could tell those people anything.

Instead of asking yourself "What can I do to help myself", maybe ask "What can I do to help others?" and you might find that the first question gets answered from the second.

This isn't meant to be patronizing or condescending by the way (I get paranoid of coming across like that when I don't mean to) - for all I know you could already be a very selfless person. Just some food for thought.
 

Flipmo

VIP Member
Staff member
#44
I know this shit sounds cliche Da_Funk, but if you want to drop a word, or just talk some stuff over - feel free to message me or whatever. I've always found it much easier to talk to a stranger than someone actually close to me, and I have this lone-wolf mentality in regards to most things. Not sure if you're that kind of person though. We all have our demons per se and sometimes you can find help/comfort in the most unlikely places. That said, Casey brings up some extremely good points as well. Have you ever thought of volunteering somewhere which deals with issues that hit close to home?
 

Pittsey

Knock, Knock...
Staff member
#45
I used to feel like Funk. It caused me to become obsessive with the pursuit of women. I was sleeping with a couple of girls a week, and while it made me feel good at the time, in the end it felt worse. I think Casey may be on to something though. As it was only when my son came into the world that all those feelings changed. I am never happier than when I am making him happy. Gay as my whole post sounds. (But not as gay as Caseys... ;) )
 

Da_Funk

Well-Known Member
#50
Funk, might I suggest that hole may be a sense of unfulfillment?

Money, Success, Relationships, Drugs and Alcohol, at their core, are all selfish paths. They are lifestyle constructs of a capitalist society that encourages EXTREME individualism and they aren't emotionally healing.

Could it be that what you're missing is a cause, a purpose, a raison d'etre? An entirely selfless endeavour where you play a part in making this fucked up world a better place for humanity as a whole? Find that cause, something you believe in passionately. Life is nothing without passion and there aren't many things more fulfilling than a selfless passion. And in those things, you tend to find like-minded individuals..... and build friendships of the exact kind to where you could tell those people anything.

Instead of asking yourself "What can I do to help myself", maybe ask "What can I do to help others?" and you might find that the first question gets answered from the second.

This isn't meant to be patronizing or condescending by the way (I get paranoid of coming across like that when I don't mean to) - for all I know you could already be a very selfless person. Just some food for thought.
Not condescending at all. In fact, I'd say you're right on the mark with your assessment. I know that the year I spent teaching 10 and 11 year olds on the weekends was the most fulfilled I've ever been. I don't know why I didn't go back to it for my last year of university. Guess I was preoccupied with myself. It's funny how the human brain works like that. Now that I've got my life up and running in Australia (for the most part) I'm starting to look into rec sports leagues as well as volunteering with animals.

But like I said earlier, it used to really bug me, and I know it's why I was pretty fucked up for a long time; I wanted to provide a context for why people fall into substance abuse and show that you don't just up and choose to become an addict per se. I was lucky, I got put into a situation last summer where I had to find myself and I like to think that I did, and now I'm at peace.

I know this shit sounds cliche Da_Funk, but if you want to drop a word, or just talk some stuff over - feel free to message me or whatever. I've always found it much easier to talk to a stranger than someone actually close to me, and I have this lone-wolf mentality in regards to most things. Not sure if you're that kind of person though. We all have our demons per se and sometimes you can find help/comfort in the most unlikely places. That said, Casey brings up some extremely good points as well. Have you ever thought of volunteering somewhere which deals with issues that hit close to home?
That's a really nice thing to offer man, I appreciate it.

good posts from flip and casey.

tony soprano felt like that. prozac helped.
Yeah I need to watch that show. I just can't get over The Wire.
 

Da_Funk

Well-Known Member
#51
So what do you suggest a pedophile do to "remedy" his/her problem?

Say I'm a pedophile. After reading your post and being told to "suppress my disposition," where do I go for help? Is there something I can do, other than revel in suppressed sexual desires? That's the point I'm getting at. If a pedophile goes to a therapist and explains himself, wouldn't the therapist be obligated to notify the authority of a potential danger? That's gonna fuck the person's life up by taping a big red flag on them wherever they go. But they need just as much help as the drug abuser, right? Why can't we tell the drug abuser to "suppress" their cravings and to not act on them like we pedophiles should?
Not related to what you're saying but I know your a wannabe doctor at the moment and so I thought I'd quote you to get your attention since I forgot to mention in my first post that I think the problem with the medical industry is that their current model is one of "cure" the symptoms rather than treat the cause of those symptoms. Thoughts?
 

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