devil in the sky

[Patrik08]

wake up one morning
could swear it fealt like the night
but could see the reflections of the day light
walkt out to the store not a person in sight
started thinking nothing fealt right
in to the store the worker was laying on the floor
cold dead quikly turn and run out the door
lookt up in the sky could see the devil up there
blood started rolling down in a tear
started running and running
but where was i comming
started hearing a weard voice singing
sudenly something was moving my ears started ringing
in the dirt it was jesus crying
all bloody pointed to the sky devils serculated in th air
sudenly jesus dissepeard
and now the devil was sitting there
turn and run in fear
stop att a street
saw pepole burning in a inferno of heat
the sky turn red and blood start to dripping on my head
i do what you dissaire devil showed up and i stared
spitting fire batteling the curreator
a black hole open walk in whit heavy gun smokin
am a gods slave workin
then i waket up and sreaming guess i was just dreamin

 

[CalcuoCuchicheo]

It seems like you are trying to be overly righteous or something & make a grandoise concept which is all well & good, but an attempt is what it remains.

The flow isn't particularly bad or awkward I guess but the rhymes are simple & seem to be going nowhere.

A bunch of contextual & spelling errors but from this, & your previous posts, i think you're a foreginer so I suppose that can slide. The only reason I brought up the spelling was just that if you make certain spelling errors people might not get which word you actually meant to pick.

Like I said though, just reads like rambling & an attempt at being deep.

Don't give up though. If you spent more time on this I'm sure you could clarify your message/the plot & craft it tighter.