Emotions & Thoughts

[kman_69]

yo, some feedback would be nice....

Emotions & Thoughts -1st March 2005

Emotions
my emotions are kinda up at down at the moment..
in constant motion -kinda like a roller coaster
-i know that im supposed to control em'
..but i suppose when they approach..
they kinda take hold n' my thoughts get provoked..

Thoughts
..i start thinkin inconsistently about livin'
like suicide -anything else is contradictive
-then my mind switches and it all seems so ridiculous
like my time is the only thing persistent in my vision.

 

[~live2tell~]

I liked alot, it was written uniquely and it has great flow. I also liked the concept of how emotions and thoughts are connected and how you put those 2 verses together to portray that. Keep writing.

 

[kman_69]

thanks for the positive feedback sarah

 

[Cown]

Good poem, flow went off at the fist line, but after that it went smoothe

Short, but still has a good message to it. I know the feeling when you're about to lose control.

I agree with Sara, you definatly have a unique way of writting :thumb:

 

[kman_69]

^^yeah i feel what you sayin about the first line...i kinda thought that myself reading back over it (a bit amature-ish)...but i was too lazy to change it haha

glad u feelin it anyway...thanks for feedback!

peace.

 

[shattered dreams]

i like this one a lot..quick and straight to the brain and heart

..i start thinkin inconsistently about livin'
like suicide -anything else is contradictive
-then my mind switches and it all seems so ridiculous
like my time is the only thing persistent in my vision.


felt this one a lot because two weeks ago i survived a suicide attempt..thats why i havent posted in a while till now..trust me it aint worth it.

 

[kman_69]

^^yeah was kinda in the same state you were i guess when i wrote this...

i feel what you were sayin about the pills and stuff too..."trying to make it all better" -but it actually makes it worse :/

thanks for the feedback anwyays

glad u ok now!

 

[Ivory$horty]

..i start thinkin inconsistently about livin'
like suicide -anything else is contradictive
-then my mind switches and it all seems so ridiculous
like my time is the only thing persistent in my vision.

^^ Wow, I really loved that verse. I can relate to it because at times, I'm guilty at having those same thoughts myself.
I thought it was very unique, you wrote it really well. And although it is a lil short, the length didn't take anything away from this piece. To me, it still spoke a lot within those few lines.
I liked it
Keep it up

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[Mr Marz]

keep kickin it homie, seems like u got a lot to get off ur chest

 

[kman_69]

..i start thinkin inconsistently about livin'
like suicide -anything else is contradictive
-then my mind switches and it all seems so ridiculous
like my time is the only thing persistent in my vision.

^^ Wow, I really loved that verse. I can relate to it because at times, I'm guilty at having those same thoughts myself.
I thought it was very unique, you wrote it really well. And although it is a lil short, the length didn't take anything away from this piece. To me, it still spoke a lot within those few lines.
I liked it
Keep it up

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

always with the best replies ...glad u feelin it....lol im glad im not the only one with the bi-polar type thoughts

thanks for feedback!

peace.

 

[Belo]

Nice n short so tired they were a good length hehe
I loved the 2nd one..That was brilliant... felt like u compacted so much into those 4 lines.. I was really feeling this
I liked the 1st one too.. they were both really good but it was the 2nd that really grabbed my attention as a stand out poem
Great work man
Good to see you still posting poems..
Keep it up
Peace

 

[kman_69]

thanks Belo, good to see you still postin too..

interesting that u read it as two poems, its sorta meant to be one...just sorta showing how emotions can lead to thoughts...you know?

thanks for feedback tho glad u feelin this 1!

 

[Belo]

thanks Belo, good to see you still postin too..

interesting that u read it as two poems, its sorta meant to be one...just sorta showing how emotions can lead to thoughts...you know?

thanks for feedback tho glad u feelin this 1!

OOps... stupid me

 

[jm5471]

i really liked it, ur flow was really good and i like how u wrote from both points creative good poem

 

[kman_69]

OOps... stupid me

lol its all good.

 

[kman_69]

i really liked it, ur flow was really good and i like how u wrote from both points creative good poem

ah thanks man, glad u feelin it...and its cool to see u got the concept of the whole thing..

peace.