first rhyme in a long time

[LyricalFlame]

This just some random shit i've written down, haven't written anything in ages!!!!!!!!! pls any critisms will be taken contstructivly so pls holla at me!!!!! and i have replied to the two threads or whatever we had to do, haven't been on the forum for a few months now.


I havent written in a long while
so let me hit ya wit this new style
keep you in line walkin single file
and then cahnge shit
cause ya'll know i spit, greater
then the next hater, in line
so get wit it
or i have to get wit you
show ya a thing or two
bout the real live life i live
we love to take, but always give
more than is neceassary
to keep these rhymes up i'm gettin scary
rising higher than you could imagine
despising haters, i leave them clappin
not mackin, we know they'd like to be
its fuckin here that gets ya left fucked up G

peace

 

[Confucius87]

No offense, but it seemed a little elementary to me. What I mean is that your vocabulary could've been better. It sound like a 10 yr. old wrote it. The flow was average. I'd give it a 5.5/10

 

[LyricalFlame]

No offense, but it seemed a little elementary to me. What I mean is that your vocabulary could've been better. It sound like a 10 yr. old wrote it. The flow was average. I'd give it a 5.5/10

ya thats a fair coment, but like i said its the first rhyme in a while, and i'm also just trying new things.
thanxz for replying.
peace