Forgotten

[Cown]

Like the mist of starlight
Beauty pursues her through the night
Yet fragile inside, shattered like glass
No man would let this opportunity come to pass
Though she is full aware
Her passion for love has overcome her ability to bare
She knows not how to act
Shaken and burned, her heart no longer intact
She needs the hand of a friendly face
To lift her up, and yet again feel loves grace
But friends have all gone
They’ve abandoned her, forgotten the friendship that was once strong
The last chance of salvation has passed
And now she’s broken, only time will tell, how long she will last

 

[~live2tell~]

I really connected with this Cown. Loved it, one of your best.

 

[kman_69]

nice drop

Beauty pursues her through the night

^^really like that line...has a real nice flow to it

cool peice...keep em commin!

 

[radkin]

nice, makes me think of all those really fit girls that everyone thinks have everything, but inside they have a lot of hidden pain

 

[Cown]

Thank for taking the time to read it guys

 

[Levendi]

I really liked the opening two lines from your piece :

Like the mist of starlight
Beauty pursues her through the night

Everything in between the beginning and ending I had trouble either envisioning or rhyme scheme or connecting too, my two cents.

And this i thought was a good ending, nice poem overall, keep it up cown... :thumb:

But friends have all gone
They’ve abandoned her, forgotten the friendship that was once strong
The last chance of salvation has passed
And now she’s broken, only time will tell, how long she will last

.

 

[Chrisss]

i really like this one crown, i agree with radkin, it makes me feel like on the outside she has everything materialistic but inside she's all alone, without even a friend to turn to. nice contrast...

Lata

 

[Blunted Dreamz]

Amazing poem Cown, I really dug it. Made me sort of sad because I knew her, or at least someone exactly as you describe. Sad part was, she was so deeply broken that she couldn't see the outstretched hand anymore.