I'm God's Solja

[Jurhum]

This one here is inspired by the conflict in Iraq. Hope you like it.

Spoken words poetry sort of

Salam (peace) to you my brothers and sisters

I bared witness to the atrocities
Committed in the name of democracy
Can’t you see, the hypocrisy?
Follow me as I report from the battle field,
where my brothers blood is spilled
on daily basis. Traces of carnage is all I see.
Now bare with me, truth must be told,
cuz my heart is gettin’ cold.
Sooner or later it’s gonna explode
I must confess
I’m feeling oppressed.
No ambitions of becoming king.
Just a better life for my next of kin.
For my brothers for my sisters.
For Christians for Jews
Leave me for mine and
And I shall leave you for yours.

Wait, listen cuz it’s not over.
Covert operations
to assassinate Sunni patients
Under the protection of helicopters
as they hover over
Meanwhile bodies being dragged through the street
Can’t find peace even in the confinement of my retreat
I shall never proclaim defeat.
How many times I’ve told ya
I am God’s Solja

 

[Synful*Luv]

I must confess
I’m feeling oppressed.
No ambitions of becoming king.
Just a better life for my next of kin.
For my brothers for my sisters.

I loved that bit there. I can relate to it, doesn't matter what country or what nationality of the people.....the feeling is the same. I liked this in general, mainly because I could really relate to it.

 

[assassin_4001]

daaaamn bro, nice powerful piece right here, you should work a bit with ur rhyming, other then that i am touched my man,

For my brothers for my sisters.
For Christians for Jews
Leave me for mine and
And I shall leave you for yours.
i loved this part , anyhow keep it up man

 

[kman_69]

This one here is inspired by the conflict in Iraq. Hope you like it.

Spoken words poetry sort of

Salam (peace) to you my brothers and sisters

I bared witness to the atrocities
Committed in the name of democracy
Can’t you see, the hypocrisy?
Follow me as I report from the battle field,
where my brothers blood is spilled
on daily basis. Traces of carnage is all I see.
Now bare with me, truth must be told,
cuz my heart is gettin’ cold.
Sooner or later it’s gonna explode
I must confess
I’m feeling oppressed.
No ambitions of becoming king.
Just a better life for my next of kin.
For my brothers for my sisters.
For Christians for Jews
Leave me for mine and
And I shall leave you for yours.

Wait, listen cuz it’s not over.
Covert operations
to assassinate Sunni patients
Under the protection of helicopters
as they hover over
Meanwhile bodies being dragged through the street
Can’t find peace even in the confinement of my retreat
I shall never proclaim defeat.
How many times I’ve told ya
I am God’s Solja

dope drop man, especially the last line...not sure if it was your intent, but i took the whole peice (especially the last line ) to reflect the riddiculousness of fighting in God's name...

nice job man

peace.

 

[Kadafi Son]

I didn't feel tha rhyming 2much, but maybe cuz it was spoken word. But this is a deep piece. I think it's somethin that could relate to the civil rights movement as well, you know. But great piece. Last lines were my fav

 

[Jurhum]

thanks everyone for peeping this..

 

[SicC]

I see alot of resentment when i read this, but i wont go into detail because both sides have spilt blood. The rhyming was very sharp but it was not the highlight of the piece. More of the picture it paints is the highlight...your pain is portrayed very well but so are your resentments and anger.

pz

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Powerful and Deep, very descriptive so that makes for a great poem. Keep it up hopefully soon you'll have a much brighter subject to write on

 

[Jurhum]

I see alot of resentment when i read this, but i wont go into detail because both sides have spilt blood. The rhyming was very sharp but it was not the highlight of the piece. More of the picture it paints is the highlight...your pain is portrayed very well but so are your resentments and anger.

pz

haha, i think you are the only one who fully understood this poem. anyway, thanks for takin the time to check it out.


artisticgurl, thanks... and maybe there will be a brighter subject in the future.

 

[ImmortalTech]

Nice drop man.. but one suggestion: whn ur writing spoken word stuff, it may be a lil more effective if you use (...) or comma's and stuff to illustrate pauses, or CAPS just make certain things sound bolder, and it'll help the reader really understand what parts you want them to focus on.

Anyways nice peice. Felt the messege, keep doing ur thing

~peace

 

[Farzin]

Hey dude nice stuff. I liked it a lot but for some reason the second part didnt seem to fit in with the first one. I dont know maybe its just me or it kinda flew past me. But the part some others have quoted is really nice and i like it as well.

Keep up the great work.

 

[Jurhum]

IT: good idea. i'll keep it in mind for my next piece if i do write one. and thanx for peepin this one out


Farzin.. thanks man.. the whole piece is about war in iraq. and the first part is basically about the US invasion. the second part is about the sect fighting between sunni and shia'a militants.

thnx to everyone who replied.