in the beginning.

[Elmira]

green beauty, your
wild garden
lush
drinks this town,
on a whiskeynight.

your moss 'nd rot take
in drunkered sarrowed steps,
rythmless drums.
wild garden,
lush
moss 'nd rot take
the lonely streets.


Howling the moon decries
for all here to hear
"in the begining, in the begining"
only the voice hears it,
unwillingly. the voice
wonders gnarled twisted roots
and alley ways. wondering snarled
whiskey breath, searching
for the green beauty. Lusts
for the green goddess in her
wild garden
lush.

the voice forsakes his flask
wet smash, staccato
cars zooming by headlights
seperating night from day.
the moon howls
"in the beggining, in the beggining"
as the green beauty
forgives the voice.

the voice slumps alone
under a sycamore,
in the crumpled
wild garden
lush.
crumpled and discarded in a gutter.
the green beauty
drinks the voice
with moss 'nd rot.
lush

 

[Kadafi Son]

I'm not gonna lie, but I didn't really have a clue what was goin' on. I might have to reread it, but from I saw, I noticed you got a lot of good wrd usage...

 

[Jokerman]

I loved this: "the voice slumps alone, under a sycamore, in the crumpled wild garden, lush" -- there he sits, drunk and lonely, and finds a friend. We see how he comes to relate nature's fertile loneliness to his own. This fact is very much romanticized in his mind, for nature is never alone, neither is he, but that is what he wants to be true for now, to help him cope. The "voice" is his own. He also romanticizes the moon's relationship with nature, with itself, and with mankind. It could have been a little more complex, though. But, overall, good job.

 

[*Riaz*]

my girl loved this,
thanx....

 

[Hi Hater]

Beautiful as always. Just an orgy of visuals coming at you (no pun intended).

Howling the moon decries
for all here to hear
"in the begining, in the begining"

Favorite part.

 

[Elmira]

thanks kids.

my girl loved this,
thanx....

you welcome? lol i hope you're not implying you passed this poem off as your own and handed it to your girl.