Miss U (Dedicated 2 my grandmother)

#1
Sometimes I look at the sky at night,
Wonder is that you?...
The bright light,
Shining down on this dark world.
Your a watcher - the guardian angel,
Watching over your family.
I keep you in my head,
So I can't do wrong,
I want to be a help to God,
And you made me understand,
This world is a test.
The night you passed,
I fell asleep with tearz on my face,
And I dreamed...I dreamed...
You was transformed...
You was an ANGEL.
I woke and knew you was alright,
No more pain,
The illness is riddened,
Your living good now for all eternity.
Surrounded by happiness,
And untill I get there,
My pain will be here,
I'm missing you...
You... My Beautiful Grandmother


--------------

Doesn't rhyme, but to me poetry doesn't have to rhyme. I just wrote this from my heart, representing for my grandma.
 

Missy "C"

Active Member
#2
That's so nice, it's very very touching! And I think it's great the fact that it doesn't rhyme, it makes it original (i also write many poems that doesn't rhyme, and i like them more then the others). This are my favourite verses:

The night you passed,
I fell asleep with tearz on my face,
And I dreamed...I dreamed...
You was transformed...
You was an ANGEL.
I woke and knew you was alright


Great job, I like it a lot
 
#3
I don't think poetry has to rhyme either, what's important is that it is written from the heart and you can definitely tell that this is.

I thought it was a great poem, great expression and feeling. I'm sorry you had to write this but it sounds like your Grandmother is in a better place now.

Hope you continue to write.
 
#4
Poetry is under no obligation to rhyme all the time. In fact some of the best poetry I've read doesn't ryhme. Definately a good dedicatory piece of work.
 
#5
Sorry for your loss. It's nice you dedicated something to her, it comes from the heart and it shows.

Keep up the good work and keep ya head up kid, she's with God now, you'll see her again.



.
 

k69atie

SicC's Love
#6
Sorry for your loss.

I don't think poetry has to rhyme either. It came from the heart, and this comes through when you read it. great work, hope you continue to write :)
 
#7
Sorry for your loss...
2
Great poem... I also share the same views on poetry... I dont think poetry has to conform to any set rules... Like some people comment on flow, rythem and stuff like that... I think its the meaning of the poem and how heart felt it is that counts... This gets the thumbs up from me 2...
 

Lili

New Member
#8
"I fell asleep with tearz on my face,
And I dreamed...I dreamed...
You was transformed...
You was an ANGEL."

^ That's so sweet. I am sorry that your grandma left earth, but the thing is that God is missing angels, and that day when your grandma earned her wings God had called earth to tell how much he missed his angel, it was your grandma. God missed my grandma also, so he did throw down wings to her also and away she flew, well, to up above. It seems so far away, but still not so far away. The memories and the soul will never leave, and we keep our loved ones in our hearts forever. I miss my grandma so much now days also, but like you also said the illness is gone now, she got happiness!

Just wanted to write that, I like your poem because I feel the same way about my grandma, God bless. And she is watching you!
 

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