missing part

[Sebastian]

i've just finished this...dont know if i'll change something later on..but anyway..feedback appreciated


Missing part


I cant go on
Like I never knew you
It is so curious
What im going through

From time to time
Voices reminding me
Pictures appear
And its you I see

You are the weight
On my shoulder
I cant take one step
But im getting older

You’re my hearts
Most favourite guest
Without you girl
It’ll find no rest

So im walking down
The empty street
Feeling that without you
My life is incomplete

 

[kman_69]

topic is nothing new....bit played out....but i like how u layed it out...good format

So im walking down
The empty street
Feeling that without you
My life is incomplete

^^ending was cool.

peace.

 

[Amara]

topic is nothing new....

Of course it's not, everyone has experienced emotions, I liked the way you expressed them though beReal. It's really sweet.."You’re my hearts/Most favourite guest/Without you girl/It’ll find no rest" - that part especially.

 

[Sebastian]

topic is nothing new....bit played out....but i like how u layed it out...good format

love is never played out ...but hey, i know what u mean...thx for feedback

I liked the way you expressed them though beReal. It's really sweet.."You’re my hearts/Most favourite guest/Without you girl/It’ll find no rest" - that part especially.

thx Amara, nice to see you liked it

 

[Jurhum]

Nice. Very smooth. Not too long lines flowed perfectly, i thought. Keep up the good work.

 

[Ghetto_Ghost]

i think this is your best poem. the short verses make it sound very direct and that is great for getting your point across.
good job, keep it up

 

[~live2tell~]

I like the structure, it was simple and pleasant to read, although very sad. I hope you find her.

 

[The.Menace]

I liked it but the rhyme schema was a lil off. Nice idea through.

 

[Kaos88]

yeh i liked this piece...nice work man

really liked these lines:

So im walking down
The empty street
Feeling that without you
My life is incomplete

peace

 

[babygurl]

damn....that was really good
the ending was just great

You’re my hearts
Most favourite guest

love dis line!!!

 

[FATAL N FELONY]

Very good poem.