My friends passing

[Shadows]

Some might remember me making a thread about my friends death waaay back then. I thank you for your condolences. Till now I don't even know why I wrote it. Maybe I felt like I needed to tell people about it.
I don't know. All I know, is that since my friend passed, I pursued poetry. Since then, I've gone through many things to keep pushing me to poetry.

*NOTEs* The way it is read might confuse you a bit, i appologize. (This is supposed to be heard and is not done, but will need a few tweeks in it.)
Also, If you got nothing nice to contribute, don't do it/say it all, thank you. (though, please feel free to bash my other threads like usual). h:

Back when nothing mattered, tragedy made everything matter
My friend was murdered, -cold- innocently after
A high school home coming, by two know nothings...

They took Our ‘light in a bag,’ that turned to our ‘star’ when loving
So we pleaded to the ‘sky‘, to keep us from struggling
Because life paused for us, and we needed upswing

But with all the grieving, I didn’t believe it
I saw her hours before, so I’d breathe in disbelieving (i yelled)
“get the fuck out my face“, shit like that shouldn’t be played
So I slammed the door to friends, and then I opened my mouth
But my mouth was drowned, with tears that already came
So I ran to my momma, and she was feeling pain...

For someone she didn’t know, For someone she wouldn’t know
Lord please help my momma, her stomach has an existing soul
Lord please help my friend, I feel she’s a living soul
Lord please help the drama, that is in us living cold…

I ran to clear my face with, a towel because I gave in
Then my friends came fast, but it felt like ages
Then we got to the school, n her best friends face is
Strong like I’ve never seen, but we hugged n I cried

My cry vibrations making, her strong knees to shake with
A paralyzing feeling, that dawns over the tainted
Then we parked at the park, the day felt like we were at the dark
We were at were she died, --I in my clothes from the night

Then the news reporters came, to ask my friends how she died
My friends said to leave us, but their info wasn’t enough
So they went to ask me, but my eyes proved of demons
My eyes were so red, the shit they gave cudn’t be flushed

Eventually they left, I wished they could've pretended
For what it felt like, to lose a friend…
cuz it felt as they stayed, I wished they could've pretend
For what it felt like, to lose a friend…

After that happened
My world was much colder, I then seen the dead much older...

(My minds playin tricks on me), cuz her sis is older
My eyes were red blurry, cause I knew she’d get buried
Lord why oh why, must I see a cemetery?

Her sis came and gave hugs, to share love cause we all lost
I swore it was my friend, as a 2nd chance from God...
For us to express the love, than to go and shove off
All the pain n the hurt, to what we all lost

Days pass n we cried, we dealt with politics
In a very cold world, we seen how hot it gets
Some people didn’t care, some people couldn’t care
But those that were there, went n said a prayer
As for me I cared, and believed the prayer
But deep inside me, I said he ain’t care
because I was pissed off, nothing ever hit off
I was so lost, I almost quit god because

I did 7 deadly sins, I started slow with sloth
But it quickly took over, n I was terribly lost
I seen nothing could measure, so I lusted for pleasure
But something was missing, I’d only love what is there
Soon I got frustrated, my wrath got me crazy
Dancing with the devil, only got me hating
So I tried to bow out, but I seen happy with Envy
Every desire they had, every quality was killin’ me

I didn’t have humility, only loved with my pride
Nightmare a reality, I couldn’t trust if I tried
I could only trust me, so I longed for Gluttony
But I was drinkin like pops, so I stopped so suddenly

I resorted to many things, hoping they’d let me breathe
But my cries couldn’t stop, the Greedwasn’t me
I’d listen to my music, when nobody was there
Because Tupac cares, when don’t nobody else care…

-Shadows
October, 28 2010 (Anniversary of my friends death).
Digiproved

 

[THEV1LL4N]

im sorry to hear that. were you close with her? i couldnt cope with losing some one i love so dearly.

hope you're doing okay.

 

[Shadows]

i'm doing ok now. i mean, it was a while back. Some things still hurt and i'm a bit more impatient because of it, but i'm alright.

it's just crazy how one decision can affect SO many lives.

 

[dilla]

You ever put these to audio? Share on Facebook?

 

[THEV1LL4N]

sometimes i think more emotion is conveyed in the text than reading it out aloud to make up the audio - depends on how it was initially meant to be, written or spoken. but yea, audio could be a possibility.

 

[Shadows]

I haven't gone to a recording studio, i'm waiting on it.

This one isn't supposed to be an angry track, i only got 1 angry track, and i haven't got feedback for it, so i haven't even started the 2nd verse.

I got like 23 songs written, but only satisfied with 18/19.

The only audio i got recorded, i found a link to it, but i wont be releasing it, since i improved my flow.

also, the link is when I was sick and just trying to show my friend how it was supposed to go.

I'm hoping to have everything recorded by November, January the latest.

I think my lyrics are not corny and different, so hopefully people who listen, like it enough to get the message I'm trying to send and spread the word.