New at this (feedback please)

#1
I read these mc’s like a quoted note card
Have em on the nightly news speaking with Tim Brokaw
Taking bout hip-hops hard, scents I raised the bar,
A rising star, broke na, stick to da plan and roast ya,
Most yall,

In it for the money but see, it’s not me, to get rich or die trying like 50
So, try to shift me, out my way, you bound to win kid but not today

Best to stand back, push play and watch for me,
when you cop my cd, it’s like hitting the lottery
it’s like a whole lot of wanna b’s
but ya not, can’t and won’t ever touch me, ya skills are rusty what b,

I pack more dynamite than Napoleon
It takes more than fishing line, a hook and bait to roll me in
Ya shook, wait before you hate again,
I cook rhymes up in the morning, like eggs and bacon,




Like who, what, when and were? I be up here, down and then in there
Then here, every were I don’t care, back up like nike give me air
Give me room, play you like doom, put you on the side of me like diddy did loon

It’s shitty how I’m paying no one respect,
been a fan for years yo it’s time to prefect my flow,
get mines, why cause I say so, keep hitting em with punch lines like Tony Yayo
 
#2
Bo_Productions said:
I read these mc’s like a quoted note card
Have em on the nightly news speaking with Tim Brokaw
Taking bout hip-hops hard, scents I raised the bar,
A rising star, broke na, stick to da plan and roast ya,
Most yall,

In it for the money but see, it’s not me, to get rich or die trying like 50
So, try to shift me, out my way, you bound to win kid but not today

Best to stand back, push play and watch for me,
when you cop my cd, it’s like hitting the lottery
it’s like a whole lot of wanna b’s
but ya not, can’t and won’t ever touch me, ya skills are rusty what b,

I pack more dynamite than Napoleon
It takes more than fishing line, a hook and bait to roll me in
Ya shook, wait before you hate again,
I cook rhymes up in the morning, like eggs and bacon,




Like who, what, when and were? I be up here, down and then in there
Then here, every were I don’t care, back up like nike give me air
Give me room, play you like doom, put you on the side of me like diddy did loon


It’s shitty how I’m paying no one respect,
been a fan for years yo it’s time to prefect my flow,
get mines, why cause I say so, keep hitting em with punch lines like Tony Yayo
Thats probably the best from all of them. The eggs and bacon one is good but it doesn't rhyme. Also the tony yayo one is good too. Thats pretty good.
 

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