Our Love...My Masterpiece

[Synful*Luv]

Still trying to use different formats as opposed to how I usually write. The spaces aren't typos...I used them to assist you in reading it the way I wrote it. Let me know what you think!

peas, chicken and hair grease...
me



Perfection is...

Flawless. As we are my mast er piece

and....

If there were no you and without you no we

then....

I'd be one left with no means to be.... hap py

but.....

you without me is.... a.... peculiar idea indeed

be cause.....

without me for you and you for me

then.....

we

cease to exist.

and....

I want nothing, no nothing of the sort

be cause...

you, dear lad, are the key to my

port....

hole and inside there are means for a ride

on...

a mystical journey throughout what we

consider life

but...

with you and me and... us as we

in my perfection that is flawless

as it is my

masterpiece of a lawless

idea

considered to be

a contingent of boundless love

that's...

shared between me and you, and we as us

my.....

materpiece shall never be complete

with the accession of time

perfection is unattainable

but...

in a way it appears to be mines

yours, and ours.

Perfection, in it's imperfection

is.....he to me.

Flawless.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

I love how you change the usual way of poems (especially in this forum from what I've seen) and the way you say things like;

If there were no you and without you no we

I loved!

 

[kman_69]

cool idea, i like how this is set out... makes it easy to read IMO...i tried heaps of different ways of writing and setting my peices out before i settled into how i write now...


cool content too, nice drop!

peace

 

[Jurhum]

WOW, i know am late to this. but i really enjoyed reading it through out. it flowed from one line to the other. you got skills girl hehe keep it up

 

[Synful*Luv]

Thanks for all the feedback. Looks like being in love has also healed my creative side. I think I like myself doing this style of writing more so than my usual style. Thanks for the love

 

[The.Menace]

too much love for me......

 

[ImmortalTech]

nice post syn.. I liked how you were able to step outside the 'norms' of poem writing, and still create something creative, and something that gets the messege across.

~peace

 

[Ivory$horty]

Aah, yes...love. Ain't it grand?
I'm really feeling this style of writing that you got goin' on right now. It's unique and impressive.
LOVED the closing lines...


"Perfection, in it's imperfection

is.....he to me.

Flawless."


I feel you on that one. Keep it up.

 

[GhettoStar]

This would be an excellnet piece to perform live for you, the way that the structure is gives me the impression that you would attempt to do it live....I also enjoyed how you made the last sentence stand out the most out of all, after all, most people who are just dont know anything about poetry will listen to the beginging and the ending, luckily for you you have both a good begining and ending....so yea even though I enjoy poetry with more of a rhyme scheme, you did an excellent job.

 

[Casey]

That was excellent Trish, really enjoyed it, the writing style is easy on the eye and it flows smoothly. I agree with GhettoStar - this could be an excellent live piece. Want me to make you a musical backdrop?

 

[KJ1]

Love the way you went away from the norm.... that helped give me some ideas about my writings...... thanks

 

[DaRoYaLbRaT]

I was feelin This piece aswel girl.. I liked the format, that sort of format is easy to follow and understand and u wrote it out really well.. I enjoyed the read... Keep it up

pz

 

[Synful*Luv]

That was excellent Trish, really enjoyed it, the writing style is easy on the eye and it flows smoothly. I agree with GhettoStar - this could be an excellent live piece. Want me to make you a musical backdrop?

LOL, thanks so much for the offer. I missed this comment.

No thanks though, i've nowhere to perform that I know of