red roses 1961 - 1991

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#1
Red Roses 1961 - 1991

part 1




Fuck Lancashire and the rain
and the cold and the pain.

Fuck your terraces and two ups and downs
And your stinking foundries and mills.

Fuck your mee_mawing girls with cotton in their dirty hair,
Queing at the chip shop, spending their bus-fare.

Fuck your grey skies and colourless lives and fuck your factories
and dirty mines.

Fuck the life you didn’t promise me and the cap in hand mentality
and the football and the racing dogs and the cobblestones and clogs.

Wear your shawls and beat the washing , fresh from the mangle on the line.
Strung between the yards of time.

Fuck the struggle that died and all the things you didn’t try.
Stand forever in front of the loom, at the face or assembly line.
Fuck the things that brought me here and that my heart still holds you dear.
 

verse

New Member
#2
simple voc. at least for me
it had a good structure, i liked it.
you should cut down on the cussing though,
you'll sound more serious and professional
7/10 LATER. read mines its called CORVUS CORAX
 
#3
tomo5000 said:
Red Roses 1961 - 1991

part 1




Fuck Lancashire and the rain
and the cold and the pain.

Fuck your terraces and two ups and downs
And your stinking foundries and mills.

Fuck your mee_mawing girls with cotton in their dirty hair,
Queing at the chip shop, spending their bus-fare.

Fuck your grey skies and colourless lives and fuck your factories
and dirty mines.

Fuck the life you didn’t promise me and the cap in hand mentality
and the football and the racing dogs and the cobblestones and clogs.

Wear your shawls and beat the washing , fresh from the mangle on the line.
Strung between the yards of time.

Fuck the struggle that died and all the things you didn’t try.
Stand forever in front of the loom, at the face or assembly line.
Fuck the things that brought me here and that my heart still holds you dear.

First thing that came to my mind when reading was hateful, but then as I was reading the last line I kinda got the impression that it was anger for not hating as much as you think you should.

Good poem, different concept, structure was good too.
 
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