Thinking of You

[Saint33]

Just thought id post up a new one, just recently wrote this. Its about a girl that ive been having some problems with lately. Neways hope you enjoy

Thinking of You

A broken heart, A destroyed dream
A blackened sky, A silent scream
A single tear, A flame in my soul
An ocean of pain, an unfinished goal

A lonely feeling, A missing embrace
A knife in my back, A total disgrace
A life without meaning, A star without light
A disease without curing, An eye without sight

A look of disgust, A murderous stare
A cold dieing body, A reason I care
A scar on my life, A break that won't mend
A change for the worst, A neverending end

These are the things I think of, when I think of you
If this really is love, then there's no such thing as hate

 

[SiGh]

This is one of the dopest things I've read in the longest time. Talent. You have that man.

Hope that problem works out and I hope you thought bout what you were suppose to think about.

Newayz keep writing shit. its good.
Peacee

 

[Sebastian]

yep, i have to agree, nice poem. good idea.

 

[tHuG $TyLe]

the way it was worded was tight, the opening 4 lines were the best in my opinion.

 

[Helena]

A lonely feeling, A missing embrace
A knife in my back, A total disgrace
A life without meaning, A star without light
A disease without curing, An eye without sight

I love this. very deep, you are very talented Saint! keep writing:thumb: :thumb:

 

[bigmack]

completely wack.i was about to throw up

 

[SiGh]

completely wack.i was about to throw up

lmfao mack.

 

[Saint33]

completely wack.i was about to throw up

how can u say that, i wrote this about u


lol jk

neways thanks ya'll on the feed back

 

[~live2tell~]

I liked this... really enjoyed the flow it kinda sounded better read fast somehow. The only critiscism I would make is the last 2 lines - I don't think they fit in with the rest of the poem, would have been better without them and you ending it after the 3rd verse.

Hope you keep writing

 

[k69atie]

wow, that actually made me eyes water!! very deep and emtional.

a great piece of writing keep it up :thumb: you got a talent

 

[Jokerman]

That was great! I think most of us have someone in our past for whom those words apply.

 

[fwn]

Man , this is just amazing. Seriously especially at 16 u have mad talent & alot of insight...
If this really is love, then there's no such thing as hate

love hurts bro wat can i say lol. good luck wid ur girl anywayz, & keep posting those, i really liked this poem.

 

[Kadafi Son]

Man, I can't believe I never saw this poem. I love the style you put it in and the way you expressed yourself. Real Tight Piece. Very talented. Stay true

 

[Synful*Luv]

That was really good, never figured you as the poetic type but that just shows that so many people have so many different faces.

I liked this one a lot and I hope things work out for you and your girl. To be only 16 you have a lot of adult situations.