Too Many ...

[kimbo_thug]

just a quick one people ,


Too many friends turned to enimens
Got no-one left to trust
Looking over my shoulder so this shit i have to bust
Cause "friends" Lieing shit EVEN family is leaving
Fuck everybody, Cause in the end they all be deciving
Who do i belivie in ? My faith is long gone
Many tryed to test my theroy Still yet to be proved wrong
So here i am standin alone by myself ,
Got my pen and paper i dont need nufin else
Me Myself and i till tha end ,
No one left standing no one left to call friend

Dont feel bad for me cause thats some shit i dont need
Cause my pain gives me tha power i need to say fuck ya all and tha drama you bring
Turn ya back on me go ahead it aint nufin but a thing
Il just sit here thinking about times that went past
And how everybody in my life fucked up so fast .....

 

[kimbo_thug]

Dam ya all must a thoguht this was shit still no replies !! lol
xx

 

[k69atie]

another great piece of writing girl. keep them coming :thumb:

 

[Helena]

wow, that was good

"Il just sit here thinking about times that went past
And how everybody in my life fucked up so fast ....."

^i can relate to that
keep it up girl, very talented!

 

[kimbo_thug]

thanks ladies Much appericated
xx

 

[The.Menace]

I like it. The rhymes are there and you were creative while constructing those phrases, it's not everyday language in terms of word order. Anyway, the lines are too long sometimes, it's too different, you know, a short phrase is chaised by a longer one, the reader can't get familiar with the length of the text. Peace, and yes, I am high.

 

[SiGh]

^lol...stop getting high! :fury:

Got my pen and paper i dont need nufin else
Me Myself and i till tha end ,
No one left standing no one left to call friend

^^^dope kimbo..very dope. :thumb:
sidenote: how u been, havent talked to u in a while.

 

[fwn]

I dunno but its something about me that just loves powerful endings to a poem, and this one delivers it big time! Nice one:thumb:

Il just sit here thinking about times that went past
And how everybody in my life fucked up so fast .....

 

[GhettoStar]

just a quick one people ,


Too many friends turned to enimens
Got no-one left to trust
Looking over my shoulder so this shit i have to bust
Cause "friends" Lieing shit EVEN family is leaving
Fuck everybody, Cause in the end they all be deciving
Who do i belivie in ? My faith is long gone
Many tryed to test my theroy Still yet to be proved wrong
So here i am standin alone by myself ,
Got my pen and paper i dont need nufin else
Me Myself and i till tha end ,
No one left standing no one left to call friend

Dont feel bad for me cause thats some shit i dont need
Cause my pain gives me tha power i need to say fuck ya all and tha drama you bring
Turn ya back on me go ahead it aint nufin but a thing
Il just sit here thinking about times that went past
And how everybody in my life fucked up so fast .....

This is good too, although the flow seems chooppy on this piece that is just me reading it how I would read it, which is nothing compared to how you would do it for an open mic spoken word type of deal. You spit truth and the questions you ask are justified, why do people change and some act funny, espically when you are genuine to them shit always like that but like I said it is good for the inspiration. Good work again.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Nice one kimbo I really liked:

Who do i belivie in ? My faith is long gone
Many tryed to test my theroy Still yet to be proved wrong

And the ending. Its a scenerio so many people face and the answers are still missing.

 

[kman_69]

very 'pac' inspired i must say

cool drop

peace.