What Music Can Do

[jm5471]

i was jus thinkin of how influential music is and me and my boys were talkin about it today and its incredible how much it can almost take over the minds of adolescents and teens, so here it is, feed back is appriciated

what music can do 2 the youthful fools
to some music can be controlling
some get confused
cause its filled wit raw emotion
their minds abused under some potion
changing the way some speak, act and dress
they lose devotion towards being themselves
the impact regressive causing infections to ones self
picking out inperfections and acting like somebody else
it can take over their morals and actions
causing them 2 react actually act in an imorally faction
changing groups of interaction
going in loops from where they have been
they'll eventually recoup and see what happened
a musical group had left them trapped in
an unusual troop like the army
honestly what happened??

i hope u enjoyed and feed back is appriciated

 

[verse]

this was good
voc was decent
good structure
but to me u where missing depth
overall 8/10 good things

 

[jm5471]

thanks for checkin it out, when i write its a one take thing, i write and dont really look back and i never change things so its jus layed out there, happy u enjoyed it

 

[MaKa\/eLiThaD0N]

i agree with verse it was good but didnt have alot of depth but still enjoyed it

 

[~live2tell~]

I liked the subject you chose to write about, a lil different. I thought overall your poem was good, but as reading found it a lil choppy, still enjoyed it though. Keep up the good work :thumb:

 

[jm5471]

thanks yea i as all over the place

 

[Cown]

I liked it, flow was a little off but the messege of this poem was good. I think some of the points you made in the poem are very relevent to the way the youths of today act. Music is a very powerful thing :thumb: Enjoyed it.

Keep writting

 

[jm5471]

thanks for checkin it out and yea thats what i wanted to get across that music can almost control the actions and reactions of the youth today (me included)...haa

 

[Buck_Buck_Bing]

This was really good, I think I will print it out and put it on my wall

 

[jm5471]

thanks for the comments

 

[2pac4prez2006]

its good i like were u were going with this...a little more depth and this could be really good

 

[jm5471]

thanks for the comments, yea when i write i dont look back i kinda jus go wit a flow and let my mind wonder n jus write and express what i feel but yea sometime i should go back and add a little more to some of my poems to make them deeper, thanks again for checkin it out