"Why do we have to"

#1
Here is 1 song I wrote a month or two ago. The beat can be found here: http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamM3U.m3u?ID=1576032&q=Hi

Let me know what you think and link me to anything you wrote so I can comment on it as well.

Chorus:
Why do we have to shoot at people for no reason,
Hold in emotions until we find someone to unleash them on,
Drop innocent civilians in the streets, tell me what is the meanin’?
Stop needless killins so mamas won’t be left grievin,’


Two friends leavin’ the movies,
Not knowin’ when they did,
There’d be someone waiting to shoot, see,
They had so much to look forward to later that night,
But someone always has to fuck it up, right?
Got 3 steps out,
Heard someone shout,
Turned their faces about,
Got knocked the fuck out,
By a couple of bullets,
Unleashed,
When the bitch took the trigger and pulled it,
Blood seeped,
All completely random,
There wasn’t any beef,
He just felt the need to see them bleed,
How sick to conceive,
It musta been some past strife,
From his past life,
He couldn’t get past right,
Shoulda kept it to himself, personally,
Didn’t have to take my friends,
And put them to their ends,
And make them worse off then he,
But he felt it was so crucial that he do so,
But we can’t alleviate our pain,
While givin’ someone else the very same,

Chorus:
Why do we have to shoot at people for no reason,
Hold in emotions until we find someone to unleash them on,
Drop innocent civilians in the streets, tell me what is the meanin’?
Stop needless killins so mamas won’t be left grievin,’


Now I got another story about two little kids,
And how sad, shit is,
It seems one day,
One was toting 'round gun play,
Loaded a bullet in the chamber and I could hear one say,
“Quit playing”,
"You wouldn’t shoot",
The first couldn’t hear what he was saying,
He was too,
Preoccupied, with sick shit inside,
Taken over by evil handed down,
By bastards before him,
Took in shit till,
He ran out of room to store em’,
Now he sees his friend,
Leave in a casket before him,
Tried as an adult,
And now he has time,
To take his troubles and sort em’,
But what caused this kid,
To take normal pictures and contort em,
Til he had to take a gun, a bullet,
And sport em,
Then point it,
Leave his friend dispersed,
Across the earth,
And still think he coulda done worse,

Chorus:
Why do we have to shoot at people for no reason,
Hold in emotions until we find someone to unleash them on,
Drop innocent civilians in the streets, tell me what is the meanin’?
Stop needless killins so mamas won’t be left grievin,’
 
#3
the song started out after two friends of a friend left a movie theatre and some random guy walked towards them and shot at them. They didn't die but both were hit. They didn't even know the person that shot at them. So i started it off and exaggerated the event and then created a second event to finish off the song.
 
#6
Well for one, when you say 'shoot, see' in order to rhyme with 'movies'.

Obviously it makes sense & all but I just perceive that as being forced rather than everything just coming together.

It isn't a harsh criticism by any means.
 

Donate

Any donations will be used to help pay for the site costs, and anything donated above will be donated to C-Dub's son on behalf of this community.

Members online

No members online now.
Top