written for the hell of it

[ImmortalTech]

I know its not great, but fuck it,whatever, aint nobody elseposting... drop ur feedback:

I never followed the right path I was to narrow minded//
Was given a Lease for my soul by the devil and I gladly signed it//
I didn’t mind it and the price was right//
It had me stuck in my own ignorance creepin like thief in the night//
Turned away from the light, It was my arrogance that misguided me then//
The Angels stopped writing my deeds with a pen, and started using a permanent marker//
Cuz I permanently scarred the people around me, and ventured into caves that were darker and darker//
Open to no goodness, its like I was mentally cursed//
I needed to be mentally nursed, but nobody had a cure to my sickness//
Now I think less, cuz I’m afraid of having those thoughts//
That bought me sins, and had me caught In societies gutters//
I only uttered the words that was whispered to to my ears by Lucifer//
He never stuttered, and personified money like it wasnt worth losin her//
But I never had much to begin with, and was sure to end the same//
My brain was turning schizophrenic or was I just going insane?//
A Heart full of pain, as those whispers turned into cries//
No shame in my eyes, the lies had me deceiving the truth//
Like parents with no sense of guidance deceiving the youth//
There was no sense in hiding, cuz I would never be found//
Aint no turning back cuz my innocence had already drowned//
In a sense I was caged surrounded by evil voices and mistakes//
Repentance was outta the questions, that’s why I had pick the lock of the heavenly gates//
Never to be loved, so I was righteously hated //
And its not my fault I lie, Only God really knows how I made it//

~peace

 

[tHuG $TyLe]

pretty good, structure was off in places though

www.rapagenda.com

Post it their for more feedback.

 

[struggle01]

It was pretty tight, good ideas with some dope lyrics. Loved the way you ended it with "Only God really knows how i made it" That was sick. Only thing is it sorta seems to loose flow at some parts, but overall good sh*t. Finally people starting to post in here again. Maybe we could wake this place up.

 

[ImmortalTech]

yea it was kinda loose.. thanks for the cunstructive crtisism, I hate when ppl get on and say "that was dope, peace"..or "u suck, go kill urself". Anyways man, I dont really write much anymore, so I'm too lazy to join other forums to get some looks. I usually write to vent, and most of the time post it up here to share with the few of ya'll that still check this board.

--- damn i just scrolled back up and reread it, and my flow seems pretty weak haha. But ahh well.

Glad ya'll enjoyed the concept though

~peace