You Don't Hear Me

[Ivory$horty]

I was listening to Evanescence's 'Understanding' and it inspired me to write this. I haven't written in such a long time...so forgive the rust. There's a long story behind it, but in short...this was written for my father.

Thank you in advance to those who peep this.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~


You Don't Hear Me

The rain drums a little faster, matching the beating of my heart
And it won't matter if my screams get louder...
Because you don't hear me.
If I dig the knife a little deeper, will it make you stay around?
When the wound's are more consistent on the pale flesh you have found.
You don't hear me....
The pain within my voice everytime I say your name,
No it will never be the same....although I want it to be.
I don't want you here but I don't want you to go,
Why must everything be so complicated?
I've come so close to hating you, everything you are;
But it won't get me very far...because then I'll end up just like you.
No, you won't hear me...
Until I've claimed defeat; I'm weak,
Like you always said I was...
But I can't. I won't. I drop my eyes to the floor,
God's at the door.
My life is non existent, it's apparant in your eyes,
I would tell you that I love you...within a heartbeat.
But....
You won't hear me anyway.

 

[Kadafi Son]

This, I found this real emotional and I could feel like I could envision you and your daddy on tha couch and shit, just thinkin' why things are the way they are. Your anger is clearly seen in this piece. I kinda have that relationship with my dad, only I ain't seen or heard from my pops since I was 2. But just know that I feel were u comin' from. Don't Stop Writin'

Peace...and remember, we and other members of this forum gotta uplift this place. Poetic Justice

 

[GhettoStar]

The vivid dipiction you do in this amazing. This anguish U use is amazing since it can relate 2 any type of realationship. No matter what U do it doesnt seem 2 get the 1 U love 2 hear U....4 sound in some cases is the most important. I love and miss your words.

 

[kman_69]

hey that was dope!

I drop my eyes to the floor,
God's at the door.
My life is non existent


^^loved this line...some great imagery!


overall nice peace...rhymes were choppy, but it really worked well for this peice

keep it up!

 

[DPG 4 Life]

Hey Frances...

Been ages since I read a piece of yours.. and It's really been ages since I wrote something myself (last piece you read...)...

This really has me thinking back, your style of writing is as I remembered it, yet naturally polished and upgraded with the time that has passed.. The substance you bring with your emotional imagery is just as powerful now as back then though, and it really grabbed me a few lines in...

That you're gifted with your words and your imagination is nothing new, and that you pull me to a stop of astonishment of your consistency and ability to write these works in such numbers, yet without losing a beat concerning their incredible quality, is something you've always known.. but I'm going to remind you of it nevertheless...

As already stated, it's powerful, as always, and the last section - "Until I've claimed defeat; I'm weak,
Like you always said I was...
But I can't. I won't. I drop my eyes to the floor,
God's at the door.
My life is non existent, it's apparant in your eyes"
- really captured me the most, I love that part, and it stuck out from the rest of the piece... The only thing I can say for constructive critisism is that the structure had me lagging a bit, but maybe that was the idea? Or just rust? (Don't worry)

Regardless, I really liked the poem, I'm just sad to find out that you still have elements of such sorrow in your life... I really hoped you'd be well off in every aspect of your life by now... But I guess at the same time that's impossible, and that there will always be a bit of sadness in everyone? I've missed you during these years, and I hope that except for this, you've been happy and safe...

Feels great to read your poetry again...

Chris

 

[Ivory$horty]

Thank you to everyone who's peeped this and to everyone who has taken the time to respond. Means a lot.

Whatup Chris? I haven't spoken to you in years Thank you for your kind words....

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[The.Menace]

I like the msg and all, but the rhymes didn't do it for me - don't get behind the rhyme scheme - then again, I just got up, maybe I should try later again,

 

[~live2tell~]

Your writing always seems to carry a certain kind of elegance and sincerity. I thought this poem was beautiful, I loved the repetition throughout and on some kinda level I could relate. Hope things are good with you girl.

 

[Elmira]

We share many burdens. And insecurities. Thank you, I've felt your way too many times. Good read.

 

[Synful*Luv]

Good read, the emotion was so vividly depicted through your choice in words that I felt as if I was watching a short story on TV as opposed to reading a poem. Great work. It's alos very versatile, it can be applied to so many different situations.

 

[*Riaz*]

I like the msg and all, but the rhymes didn't do it for me - don't get behind the rhyme scheme - then again, I just got up, maybe I should try later again,

Nah Homie you should have a second read through,
This Is Real Emotional,
I Feel You Girl....

Keep Dropping What Comes From Within You...

That was REALLY Dope...thanx for sharing!

One Love.