16 Barz In 16 Mins

[WayCide-Ridah]

just a lil something i wrote and b4 anybody starts trippin' i never meant to be taken serious about this, just trying to pass time by writing a rhyme...

Heart 2 Heart, my soul isn’t in the game,
But life in the ghetto comes equipped wit pain,
From the start, bitches had me twisted wit change,
But I’m deadly like when insurgents step in range,
Cuz ain’t it strange when foo’s go from many men to singing like hoes,
I ain’t hatin’ homie, homo. Get your doe,
Cuz you know how it goes, I want your number one spot,
It’s ludicrous to think you can hide behind the cops,
Leanin’ back in the shadows,
You better whisper when you’re in the present’s of a killer, ready 4 battle,
Still tippin’, rippin’ the axel,
Cuz round here, we don’t have projects named after bitches,
Even if you’re platinum plus, we still bury snitches,
I don’t need your riches cuz I’m on the corner,
My homies rolling illegal but they never crossed that border,
I can give you so much more, cuz this massacre is ready 2 order…

 

[.cloud.]

I like that second line, the one about "life in the ghetto comes equipped with pain". Liked the lines referring to popular songs too.

I thought it was good, but who am I to judge?

 

[T.M.O.S]

I thought it was good.
My favourite line is "My homies rolling illegal but they never crossed that border,"

 

[LyricalFlame]

"Heart 2 Heart, my soul isn’t in the game,
But life in the ghetto comes equipped wit pain,"
great way to start, rhymes nicely also has meaning

"Cuz you know how it goes, I want your number one spot,
It’s ludicrous to think you can hide behind the cops,"
i like this too, good use of no1 spot and ludacris

rally nice, just i'm feelin like ya forcing the shit too much and it isn't flowing as well as i could if you just mixed a couple of the lines around a bit.
peace

 

[Hennessy]

I ain’t hatin’ homie, homo. Get your doe,
Cuz you know how it goes, I want your number one spot,
It’s ludicrous to think you can hide behind the cops,
Leanin’ back in the shadows,
You better whisper when you’re in the present’s of a killer, ready 4 battle,


this was pretty cool, feelin some of it, had a nice flow, good scheme. keep it up