2Pac Tribute I Wrote

[Robbo1984]

Don't hate on me for doing this! If you don't like it, or like what it was about, then please don't reply



My Tupac Tribute


No one can understand what you went through
They looked at you like you were a villan
But not knowing that people still loved you
Your lyrics and poetry touched every nation
Your still alive through your music
They couldn’t understand your retaliation
You wrote your poetry from the heart
The struggle and the pain in your lyrics was your message
And by your messages helped another young youth be on alert
The sad thing is you knew you’d die….eventually
To me that is bravery, a soldier
Your lyrics was a message, and a goodbye
Now let us picture your pain
Then watch as you tried to make the world change
Just smile for him now.

 

[Robbo1984]

I bet no one will reply, or it'll get hated on . Anyway, I posted it anyways

 

[Ivory$horty]

First, before I comment on your poem....you can't tell people who don't like your poem not to respond. What is the point of constructive criticism?! It helps you grow as a writer so regardless of whether you like it or not...you need it.
Now, to the poem...I'm not usually a big fan of one's that don't rhyme, although I have done a few myself, it relies mostly on how the poet puts it down. Hmm, I can't say I was really feeling this personally, it just seemed like you were picking words from out of thin air and forming sentences. I didn't feel the emotion.
It was nice you wrote something in tribute to 2Pac, but usually pieces like that need a lot more depth to them and I just didn't feel that. Although, I was feeling this part:

Now let us picture your pain
Then watch as you tried to make the world change
Just smile for him now.

The rest of the poem seemed.....awkward. But, keep writing and I'm sure you'll get over that.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[Robbo1984]

First, before I comment on your poem....you can't tell people who don't like your poem not to respond. What is the point of constructive criticism?! It helps you grow as a writer so regardless of whether you like it or not...you need it.
Now, to the poem...I'm not usually a big fan of one's that don't rhyme, although I have done a few myself, it relies mostly on how the poet puts it down. Hmm, I can't say I was really feeling this personally, it just seemed like you were picking words from out of thin air and forming sentences. I didn't feel the emotion.
It was nice you wrote something in tribute to 2Pac, but usually pieces like that need a lot more depth to them and I just didn't feel that. Although, I was feeling this part:

Now let us picture your pain
Then watch as you tried to make the world change
Just smile for him now.

The rest of the poem seemed.....awkward. But, keep writing and I'm sure you'll get over that.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

Yeh, thanks for replying anyway. This poem was written when I was younger, when I was 16, it was one of my first poems. I admit, it wasn't a very good poem. Since then, i've got stuff published and that, and my new stuff is nothing like that. I'm 20 years old now, but thanks for replying anyway, much appreciated.

I ain't posting my new stuff on here though. They take too long to type up and stuff. But yeh, cheers dude.

ps: the best form of poetry is more a less a none ryming poem. Poems that ryme in every sentence, get looked at as, "simple". You'd find it really hard now a days to get poems like that published! Someone I know, who's a publisher told me, a few months ago. But like you said, it depends how you put it down.

 

[Ivory$horty]

Hard to publish? Really? That must be why I'm on to my 6th 'simple' poem being published via poetry.com and in the midst of getting these 'hard to publish' poems published by a Greek newspaper. Silly me, why didn't I know that?!

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[Robbo1984]

Hard to publish? Really? That must be why I'm on to my 6th 'simple' poem being published via poetry.com and in the midst of getting these 'hard to publish' poems published by a Greek newspaper. Silly me, why didn't I know that?!

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

Considering you could post ANYTHING on Poetry.com and get a way with it

Poetry.com is just a site where you can publish poems on site! The difference is that they don't care how crap at poetry you are, you can still post it! So I wouldnt class that as, "publishing a poem". Anyway, i'm off out now.

 

[Ivory$horty]

It's one thing to post a poem on the actual site, it's another to get them published in their yearly books by Noble House Publishing, who have offices in New York, Paris and London.
There are a lot of people, up on here especially, who know what I am capable of when it comes to writing poetry. So please do not try and downplay my abilities.
This is my last response to you in this thread, if there is anything else you want to say, please feel free to PM me.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

P.S I never said your poem was bad or simple (although there is nothing wrong with the latter) all I meant was it lacked emotion...that's how I perceived it anyway. Was it one of your first poems? I wish you would've stated sooner that you wrote this when you were 16, I don't doubt you would've grown in your writing since then. I just offered my opinion. Take the rest as you wish.

Peace.

 

[Blunted Dreamz]

I dunno, for a first poem I enjoyed it. Your rhyming and meter threw me off but the message was alright. You should post something newer...

 

[~live2tell~]

Don't hate on me for doing this! If you don't like it, or like what it was about, then please don't reply



My Tupac Tribute


No one can understand what you went through
They looked at you like you were a villan
But not knowing that people still loved you
Your lyrics and poetry touched every nation
Your still alive through your music
They couldn’t understand your retaliation
You wrote your poetry from the heart
The struggle and the pain in your lyrics was your message
And by your messages helped another young youth be on alert
The sad thing is you knew you’d die….eventually
To me that is bravery, a soldier
Your lyrics was a message, and a goodbye
Now let us picture your pain
Then watch as you tried to make the world change
Just smile for him now.

I think you have the basis of something good here.

It reads uneven at the moment but with a little work you could definitely smooth it out a little and it would be much nicer to read.

I like how you portray your thoughts about Tupac, its just it lacks structurally IMO.

I like the end 'Just smile for him now', nice.