A Not-So-Little Story

#1
I do find it hard to convey flow in text but here goes anyways. An untold story....


I was but a lowly man, a servant to the state
No bitterness, no hate, I was on the straight
Skilled wit' my hands, & better wit' my mind
Run-of-the mill man, but I spent my spare time
Constructing lines, & books of philosophy
For I believed, the religion we were shown was mythology
I seen wit' mine eyes, & hence foretold
That we are all equal, when you look into our souls
I swore, that all we really need is love
An' low & behold, they came seekin' blood
Minions of the Kingdom broke down my door then
Accosted me violently, unneccesary
Cuz I was waitin' for them & woulda went silently
I foresaw it & scrawled it all on my wall
Right beside my detailed tale of how the ruler will fall
And how I love us all, no matter race, colour or creed
My people viewed as another breed, even though it's the same colour we bleed

Taken from my home, imprisoned in a cell
Supposed Pagan to the bone, listen as I tell
How, what to some is a livin' hell
Was liberation of my conscious
& clarafication of those masqueradin' imposters
Interrogated as a criminal, beaten to the brink
Answered with spiritual might, I would not sink
An' bow before them, a minor miracle, refused to blink
They were cynical, asked if I thought I had wings
If I thought I could fly, told me to sing
I told them I am a King, & when I die my spirit will kiss the sky
An' soar beyond the clouds, they stood agasp
Then laughed out loud & put the brass to my skin
Until alas, they asked again, do you believe in your divinity?
I spoke that mankind is divine until infinity

That night, I never slept for my flesh, bled too harshly
My brothers had scarred me, but broken me hardly
They woken me, derobed me & smote me
Then clothed me, in garments unholy
Barely decent, barely breathing, they told me
I would die no-one with no-one to console me
Or note me, as one who had lived
I weaved wisdom in the breeze, completely ad-lib
And the soldiers were taken aback
But nevertheless, I was sentenced to death
So there was little left to do
But for them to apologize to a man, chained in destitude
The next morning I was escorted from my deep thoughts
An' brought forth to the street to allow the people to see God
Mocked & cursed, I was spat on & hated with faces rancid
But what was worse, was they couldn't accept that I love
Each & every one of them, to their very fabric

The first restbite for the guards was soon
I was to put my skilled hands to work while onlookers put vinegar
In my wounds, & with all my strength I consumed the pain
Contained the agony, as I raggedly pieced together
Two old parts of wood, with the meekest endeavour
An' formed a cross, leather tanning my back still
I struggled to raise it, eyes gazin' at Calvary, the 'Black Hill'
Got it off the grass & propped it against my shoulders
It cut like glass, I walked past my few friends & nodded
Horizontally, so as to say my friends it's over
It's now all on me, my swollen feet
Stumble & falter in the molten heat
Laced with the liquid distaste of the Jews
I moved on, imagined it was dew
Took the insults & all the rotten fruit they let fly
I knew I could not be stopped after all I'd gotten through
I held my head high

I reach the end of the road, & see my brothers watching lustfully
Cuffs rust breached, released from the shackles, just to be
Impaled wit' nails through my wrists & ankles
Some say it take guts to be, a martyr
I tell them to live in bondage is a lot harder
Tired & weak, I fear not the unknown
Cuz when I retire to sleep I know I'm goin' home
Prepared for my fate, I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't scared
But I won't break, I'll just seep into the night
Lamenting those left behind, weep for their plight
From afar I see the street light, & I'm left
Alone with the dust & broken flesh, no cousin of death
I struggle to raise my head & see what life lives
I find so many of my comrades bodies lifeless
An' there was a solitary figure, free, but withered as she mourned
The man beside me, & his Arabic head was adorned wit' thorns
 

Jurhum

Well-Known Member
#5
Pretty nice. Is this about Jesus? I read it once, but didn't get it. The second time, it made much sense. Very nice. I enjoyed it a lot.
 

Emma

Well-Known Member
#6
You'd be one of those posh smart rappers with your fancy words lol nah j/k.

Although the rhyming was a lil off at times it was still good. The flow is a bit bad like you said but it's good, it flows well in some parts. Good stuff :thumb:
 

Emma

Well-Known Member
#10
haha yes it does. Although you do not know the old poet Emma ;) The one who used to post in here and the other forums quite a bit :thumb:
 
#11
that was tight man, i held on to every line... i love rhymes that tell a story. I think it takes alotta skill to be a good story teller, and have a nice flow at the same time, but i think u did both fairly well. This shit would mosdefinitely sound dope on audio, so if u ever record this, make sure u post it up.
... and i also thought the story was based on Jesus, either ways i think the whole peice was pretty inteligent, and one of the best i read in a while... keep droppin'

~peace
 
#12
Thanks for the comment man, it's much appreciated.

And yes, the whole fable parallels that of Jesus right down to the point where he looks across while he is on the cross & sees a criminal - only in my tale, that criminal is Jesus. So the man in the story is just an ordinary man - like Jesus was.

I made it a point to mention the fact that he was Arabic & the crown of thorns was so everybody would recognize who it was.

The woman could be perceived as Jesus mother Mary although I'm pretty sure the disciples made sure she wasn't there so when I wrote it I was thinking that the woman was Mary Magdalene - a redeemed prostitute who was also rumoured to be Jesus's lover.

There's more to say about this piece, but I'll just leave it there.
 
#13
damn, when i read that, i thought the exact same thing, that it was another man looking at Jesus getting crucified, but then, i thought back to the rest of the story, and was like naah, its gotta be bout Jesus... but either ways that was tight as hell
 
#14
yo tight piece, worth a thousand reads...

Coming Soon to a theater near you....Passion of the Rapper 2...Starring Caluocuchicheo, Christina Milian as Mary Magdalene and Eminem as Judas and D-12 as the disciples
 

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