All Alone

[Ivory$horty]

I was reminiscing over old times...memories and ish like that. I felt like writing, and this is the end result.
Feedback appreciated.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~


All Alone

I feel tainted and provoked; my soul had once lost hope
Where were you when I needed you?
You left me all alone.
A tormented being I was…did you listen to my prayers?
You never showed you cared
And there I was yet again…. all alone.
Misery clung to my lifeless form as I trudged through weary days
As pain swept through me like the rain…
I wished for death to come.
But it didn’t, I was scared…I can add ‘coward’ to my list.
List of flaws that you had given me from the minute I was born
Were you there when I left tearstains upon my pillow…
Longing for some peace?
Were you there when I crawled upon my knees…
Begging for some release?
I never thought you were and once upon a time
I hated you…
I laughed when people cursed your name but deep down….
I cursed me too.
It hurt me too.
I never wanted to admit it.
But I needed you.
Now each day I yearn for your presence,
And thank you with each breath…
I whisper and I break down…
Until I have nothing left.
The nights no longer hurt me, yet when I cry…
They’re tears of joy.
You helped me to recover…
Gave my soul that tender loving care.
I felt you…and I knew that you were true.
Mummy I do more than just love you.
I adore you.
No I was never alone, just misguided…
You helped put me back on track
And for that….
I will never forget.

 

[Levendi]

you know im honest with you koukla, i have to say, this almost brought a tear to my eye but for all the wrong reasons because of my messed up non-relationship with my mum. Sorry to take away from your post, but i feel too many emotions right now...


For what its worth, (and again i stress that my opinion is tainted with a personal issue because of my mother), the entire second half of your poem speaks on a personal level to me about how my childhood was, needing my mother, adoring her etc. Sadly the entire first half of your poem is how my life is with(out) her now :

"I feel tainted and provoked; my soul had once lost hope
Where were you when I needed you?
You left me all alone.
A tormented being I was…did you listen to my prayers?
You never showed you cared
And there I was yet again…. all alone.
Misery clung to my lifeless form as I trudged through weary days
As pain swept through me like the rain…
I wished for death to come.
But it didn’t, I was scared…I can add ‘coward’ to my list.
List of flaws that you had given me from the minute I was born
Were you there when I left tearstains upon my pillow…
Longing for some peace?
Were you there when I crawled upon my knees…
Begging for some release?
I never thought you were and once upon a time
I hated you…"


This peice is hard to read for me on so many levels, i will just end by saying you touched me on a deeply emotional topic, reaching someone like that intentionally or unintentionally is a mark of greatness, well done.



.

 

[k69atie]

^^^ I know the feeling, this bought a tear to my eye too, very emotional i thought this was great, another excellent piece of writing from you. keep it up girl

 

[kman_69]

i have tried so many times to write a peice dedicated to my mum (and dad)....but i always end up writing about some girl....or some pollitical, social, or scientific issue....

this looked like it came so natural to you, uve inspired me...im really gonna try to write something...

i loved it.

 

[Levendi]

^ go for it kman. Just dont call it "Dear Mama"...

 

[Ristol]

I haven't been here in so long; I missed your great writing, Ivory. Wonderful, as usual.

The opening line? It kills me softly.

 

[LarssonO7]

Thats not a style of writing im used to reading, but it didn't take away from the poem at all. In some way...I think a lot of people will relate to this. I know I felt the pain from the first part of the poem, and the joy at the end.

I wished for death to come.
But it didn’t, I was scared…I can add ‘coward’ to my list.
List of flaws that you had given me from the minute I was born
Were you there when I left tearstains upon my pillow…

That part I felt so much, really powerful writing ma...

Mummy I do more than just love you.
I adore you.
No I was never alone, just misguided…
You helped put me back on track
And for that….
I will never forget

I loved that ending, really emotional and strong piece. I loved it.

 

[Ivory$horty]

Levendi: I was really touched by how much you said you felt this. Wow, I didn't know my writing could have that kind of an affect on anyone. I really do appreciate your response and for what it's worth....I hope someday you and your mummy can work things out. There is no greater relationship than the one you can have with your parents. I hope one day things will work out between the both of you. Until then...keep smiling.

k69atie: Thanks babygirl, really do appreciate it as always. You know the drill Thank you.

kman_69: Wow, I inspired you to write something...hooray to me! Thank you for peeping this, and I hope you can finally write a piece for your parents. I'm sure it'll come out just as good as your others.

Ristol986: Thank you for peeping this. I'm truly appreciative of everyone's words...good or bad. Yours gave me a smile Thank you.

Jamal: You know I appreciate your words more than most. This isn't a style I'm used to writing in either, but i wrote as the words came to me. I had no plan of style, word usage or flow...I just wanted to write whatever came into my head and this is what I ended up with. Thank you for taking the time out to continue reading my work and responding (most times...you slack ass ) You know as always....I'm greatful pa. Thank you.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[Blunted Dreamz]

very moving and emotionally charged. I really felt this as well, simply because it was very close to my relationship with my mom. Sad thing is that while I have made my peace with her and our past, she still has her love/hate issues with me. I love it when you just write straight from the heart like this, you really bring emotions with your words that I think touch us all.

 

[Ivory$horty]

Blunted Dreamz: Thank you. I'm really glad you could feel this although I'm sorry to hear about you mum still having those issues with you. Forgive and forget. That's the best way to be. I appreciate you peeping this as always, means a lot to me. Great to see you're still up in here.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[shattered dreams]

i liked this poem very directly from the heart....favorite lines were
I feel tainted and provoked; my soul had once lost hope
Where were you when I needed you?
You left me all alone.
A tormented being I was…did you listen to my prayers?
You never showed you cared
And there I was yet again…. all alone.
Misery clung to my lifeless form as I trudged through weary days
As pain swept through me like the rain…
I wished for death to come.


felt those lines a lot...nice writing

 

[Ivory$horty]

WhenUrherofalls: Glad you felt the emotion in this one. Thanks for peeping.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[TG1 Ghetto One]

deep poem good work

 

[jm5471]

this poem is really good, alota emotion, i luved the lines

Were you there when I left tearstains upon my pillow…
Longing for some peace?
Were you there when I crawled upon my knees…
Begging for some release?

 

[Ivory$horty]

Thanks TG1 Ghetto One & jm5471, I'm glad y'all were feeling it.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[Missy "C"]

yes, it's a very touching poem, u can't read it without felling something... it made me think a lot, it's excellent. Keep writing, it's the first time i read something from you, your're great

 

[Ivory$horty]

Missy "C": Thank you, I'm glad you could feel this piece, especially enough to respond. "Keep writing, it's the first time i read something from you, your're great"
That means a lot. Thanks.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[~live2tell~]

All Alone

I feel tainted and provoked; my soul had once lost hope
Where were you when I needed you?
You left me all alone.
A tormented being I was…did you listen to my prayers?
You never showed you cared
And there I was yet again…. all alone.
Misery clung to my lifeless form as I trudged through weary days
As pain swept through me like the rain…
I wished for death to come.
But it didn’t, I was scared…I can add ‘coward’ to my list.
List of flaws that you had given me from the minute I was born
Were you there when I left tearstains upon my pillow…
Longing for some peace?
Were you there when I crawled upon my knees…
Begging for some release?
I never thought you were and once upon a time
I hated you…
I laughed when people cursed your name but deep down….
I cursed me too.
It hurt me too.
I never wanted to admit it.
But I needed you.
Now each day I yearn for your presence,
And thank you with each breath…
I whisper and I break down…
Until I have nothing left.
The nights no longer hurt me, yet when I cry…
They’re tears of joy.
You helped me to recover…
Gave my soul that tender loving care.
I felt you…and I knew that you were true.
Mummy I do more than just love you.
I adore you.
No I was never alone, just misguided…
You helped put me back on track
And for that….
I will never forget.

Some painful writing there girl, its amazing how you can portray something so hurtful in such a beautiful way... you definitely have that gift girl. I'm real glad you shared this one because I'm sure alot of people can draw hope and understanding from the words and feelings here. The whole poem was brilliant and despite being sad it was full of hope, can't be a bad thing

Keep it up... I know you will