Be

#1
BE - 17 May 2005
there are 11 dimensions in our present development
-but what is 'present'? -simply just a perspective

see, perspective is relative to each individual
consider: people that are 'evil' -are just living too
..an 'evil' person may be seen to be doing things
-contradictory to what society may 'believe'..
indeed this may seem as being some what selfish
but our genes are persistent, and almost relentless
-in the pursuit of survival: life is just an illusion
'altruism and truth' are just evolutionary movements
it may seem confusing, but let me break things down
-lets rewind time to when it all started out..

lets talk about the universe, and the theory of M
-two membranes collide, and things merely begin
see, were living within two polar opposites..
the big bang, and crunch are negative & positive
just opposites, at either end of the universe..
& somewhere between, developed a place called earth
..for what its worth.. this place sustained life
-through the use of water, and a thing called light
now, these beings simply needed time to survive..
-copying themselves, as they would split and divide
..its not a surprise that some copies mutated
..changing, was a sort of evolutionary trait, n' its
-not a mistake, but its not purposeful either..
fast forward to our 'present', and you meet people
categorising themselves into either 'good' or 'evil'
-but all were replicated from the same basic gene-pool

indeed, this is not our perception of how we came to be
-see, there are 11 dimensions, of which we can only see 3
we perceive time as just a line where we place our dates
-and space as something that only time can manipulate
this view is slowly changing through the use of evolution
but its not something we can pursue or even get used to..
its a tool that’s useful, but its not something we can see
-its not even something many of us want to believe..
..this is why we can't succeed in accepting life's meaning
coz we can't perceive the answer, so we need to simply BE.
 
#2
I struggled with the flow here, I enjoyed the content and the subject, it was interesting and held my attention and you used good vocab and put together some really good sentences, your structure was good also, I just found the flow a little choppy. Other than that good job!
 
#3
^^for real??...i thought the rhymes and flow were on point with this one.....i really worked on the flow with this one -coz of the vocab..


but ah well, thanks for peepin sara, u always have good replies :)....glad u were feelin this one
 
#4
kman_69 said:
^^for real??...i thought the rhymes and flow were on point with this one.....i really worked on the flow with this one -coz of the vocab..


but ah well, thanks for peepin sara, u always have good replies :)....glad u were feelin this one

First verse was better flow wise for me, I seemed to just lose it half way through the second though. Hope you're not offended, I think you're a terrific writer ;)
 
#5
^^lol, nah not offended at all....i love critisism

hehe aw thanks for the compliment....i think ur a great writer too....but you havn't posted a peice in a while....whats going on?! :p
 
#7
it a was a good piece of writing man..

the content and the views talked about in it are really interesting,the flow wasnt perfect but it got better to read after each time..

keep it up
 
#8
thanks CAP....yeah like i said to sara, the flow seems on-point to me....but then again, it depends on how u read it i guess...

thanks for peepin!

peace.
 

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