Because of your smile I smile

Jurhum

Well-Known Member
#1
Just to add to the beautiful list poems on PJ, here is my latest. I wrote something a while ago. Thought I'd share. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Here, hold my hand.
Let us elevate above this ground
Leaving me astound.
I want to run away with you
to no mans land.
So to be an invincible man…
When you’re by my side,
I’m the richest man in wealth
When you leave my sight,
I’m the poorest man in health
I don’t know how to live my life to the fullest
without you in it.
Gasping for air,
please forgive me if I’m a sinner
Truth be told,
I’m here to unfold the repressed feelings
Shivers and cold run through the veins of my soul
side by side with you’re love.
My heart pulse got your name inscribed on every beat
From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet
I can feel it… our emotions radiating heat
And I pray to never see a tear in your eye
Because of your smile I smile
and because of your tears I cry

Last two lines are taken from a previous poem I wrote.. I thought they fitted great though. :D
 

Synful*Luv

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#3
Jurhum said:
My heart pulse got your name inscribed on every beat
From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet
I can feel it… our emotions radiating heat
And I pray to never see a tear in your eye
Because of your smile I smile
and because of your tears I cry
I don't usually post here too often, but i saw your name and had to come check this out, lol.

Anyways, those are my fav lines there, the entire poem is really sweet, sounds like wedding vows almost.
Like the visualization you give with the phrase (our emotions radiating heat) is great. Makes me think of two lovers deeply enthralled in one another in a moment of pure unabashed passion..

Good job Jurhum, if this is about a certain girl, she's lucky to have you :thumb:
 

Jurhum

Well-Known Member
#4
kimbo_thug : thanks for peeping this...
Those lines are actually from a poem I've written a while back. It's somewhere here but i figured I can use them here as well..


Synful*Luv said:
I don't usually post here too often, but i saw your name and had to come check this out, lol.

Anyways, those are my fav lines there, the entire poem is really sweet, sounds like wedding vows almost.
Like the visualization you give with the phrase (our emotions radiating heat) is great. Makes me think of two lovers deeply enthralled in one another in a moment of pure unabashed passion..

Good job Jurhum, if this is about a certain girl, she's lucky to have you :thumb:
lol @ wedding vows.. yeah am practicing. :p

Thanks a lot. Means a lot.

I did write if for a girl. Lucky her. Poor me.
 

Ivory$horty

†PoeticPrincess†
#5
I don’t know how to live my life to the fullest
without you in it.
Gasping for air,
please forgive me if I’m a sinner
Truth be told,
I’m here to unfold the repressed feelings
Shivers and cold run through the veins of my soul
side by side with you’re love.
My heart pulse got your name inscribed on every beat
From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet
I can feel it… our emotions radiating heat
And I pray to never see a tear in your eye
Because of your smile I smile
and because of your tears I cry


^^ That was my favourite part..I could relate to it the most. This is straight beauty and THAT my friend is what poetry is all about.
Great job expressing your emotions. I'm going through those exact feelings myself so I really felt this.
Beautiful. Keep it up.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~
 

Jurhum

Well-Known Member
#6
Ivory$horty said:
I don’t know how to live my life to the fullest
without you in it.
Gasping for air,
please forgive me if I’m a sinner
Truth be told,
I’m here to unfold the repressed feelings
Shivers and cold run through the veins of my soul
side by side with you’re love.
My heart pulse got your name inscribed on every beat
From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet
I can feel it… our emotions radiating heat
And I pray to never see a tear in your eye
Because of your smile I smile
and because of your tears I cry


^^ That was my favourite part..I could relate to it the most. This is straight beauty and THAT my friend is what poetry is all about.
Great job expressing your emotions. I'm going through those exact feelings myself so I really felt this.
Beautiful. Keep it up.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

Great seeing you back in PJ. And thanks very much for those kind words.. means a lot and they are greatly appreciated..

specially coming from a great poet like you.
 

S O F I

Administrator
Staff member
#7
I feel you, Jurhum. It's hard out here for a pimp.


Especially when you try to get this money for the rent.
 
#8
Jurhum man this was pretty dope!

great flow, and content..really nice

Here, hold my hand.
Let us elevate above this ground

^^fav lines....great intro!
 

Jurhum

Well-Known Member
#9
S O F I S T I K said:
I feel you, Jurhum. It's hard out here for a pimp.


Especially when you try to get this money for the rent.
loool ... thnx for checking this out.

kman69 said:
Jurhum man this was pretty dope!

great flow, and content..really nice

Here, hold my hand.
Let us elevate above this ground

^^fav lines....great intro!
Thanks a lot bro... appreciated very much...
Made my day.. thnx
 

Helena

Active Member
#10
Wow, that was deep, i can relate to that on a level...she is a lucky girl :). keep posting them Jurhum, ur very talented!
 

Jurhum

Well-Known Member
#11
Helena said:
Wow, that was deep, i can relate to that on a level...she is a lucky girl :). keep posting them Jurhum, ur very talented!
thanks for peeping this. Appreciate your support..

and LOL @ sheikha :D
 

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