yo guys. im new on this thread.
this is a LONG POEM but its worth it,
i need to edit it
21 LINES AND UNDER
its for a POETRY CONTEST
NEED HELP...!
“CORVUS CORAX” inspired by “the raven”
1
I’ve observed the heinous tyranny of the unseen Platonic entity
And why its joys are scant in count compared with its soul-breaking pain,
And throughout my contemplation I have felt an hesitation
Against this cynic mutilation of thy soul and mind in vain
Whittling thy own feelings borders while you crave for it in vain,
And so forever shall remain.
2
I am in that situation which contests my comprehension
And obsesses my own judgment slowly driving me insane,
Cause my scruples began to shatter and my thoughts started to scatter,
My accomplishments don’t matter and it’s slaughtering my brain.
I don’t know how much to take it while this longing rives my brain
And its torture shall remain.
3
While I yield these prolix verses something happens ‘gainst my curses,
Brakes them and it cures me cutting my titanic soul felt chain,
Something happened so much higher than my ultimate desire
And my inside hate and fire were extinguished by a rain,
My Erato Muse, My Angel came to me within this rain –
Thrilled, astonished I remain.
4
„Oh, where have you forgot thy wings?" her sweet voice heckles me with stings
„Where’s the spark inside your eyes or those lost tears you still abstain ?“
„My wings...“I stutter , bow my head“...departed me and left me dead !“
„Is it because of me ?“ she said but my next answer I retain.
„Am I thy pestilence ?“ she asks me seeing that I will retain.
„You are and you shall remain.“
5
A tear drops from her humid eyes so I come to realize
How she must feel: „It’s me !“ I tell her going on a one way lane :
„It’s me because my pain consists in untouched love and it persists
On my regrets !...“ I slam my fists in a brick wall „... I’ll never gain
Your mind, your beauty and your heart, you are too far for me to gain !
And heart riven I remain.
6
So with hopes in my heart lacking, dreams destroyed and brain cells blacking
I just live to write these lyrics and to prove that I’m still sane,
To leave something as part of me between the end and start of me,
Between the life and art of me ... yet I am both spark and stain
As you’re to me and will always be my shinning spark and stain.
This poem’s all that shall remain.“
7
Then I pause glutton for reply though my headlong speech don’t imply
And I see that though I struggle my chances go ‘gainst the grain.
While I wait for her decision my heart suffers an incision
Painful like a front collision between me against a train,
Tied up on the tracks of silence and her word’s the speeding train...
In suspense I shall remain.
8
Time stops and I paralyze. All I see are her green eyes
Which reflect sparkling of brightness a black Raven all but plain,
This Prophet bird once seen before repeating that word “Nevermore!”
Like tasting blood from my hearts core and leaving hollows in my vein
Has only shown me what will happen carving beak holes in my vein,
A dark symbol shall remain.
9
A tear falls slow and yet brakes hectic. „Is it mine or hers ?“ I panic.
Have I dropped this sign of weakness showing I am still humane ?
Has this problem of my being reached me deep and it is seeming
Not to solve as it was keening, I just wait for it to drain.
She looks like suffering inside, I wait for the tear to drain,
Its remembrance shall remain.
10
I let her go, I’m in a bind after my detrimental grind
Seeing her for the last time, I loss all hope that I’ll maintain.
Hopeless I begin to figure that there isn’t nothing bigger
Than my last regrets. I linger to think of that word’s refrain,
The Raven has only announced me with those words in his refrain,
Terrorized I shall remain.
11
Once again a spirit dies, it gets no wings to reach the skies
For it is stolen and consumed by this beast in its demesne.
Once again this fowl murdered one man by his own soul smothered
And in flight had him transported on that Nightly shore terrain,
Where recoiling stultifies The Raven reigns on that terrain.
Its resident I shall remain.
12
My spirit breathes its last life’s flame, I hate though no one is to blame,
I scream though my shouts are on paper so I try thus to explain.
I shall expect no sympathy, I wish to regain my dignity
Because my soul has sickened me and my small mind became arcane.
Since I’ve seen perfection’s form my open mind became arcane.
So I am and shall remain.
13
Thus I banished shall see end, thus the trees began to bend
Above the crystal shimmer waters in my lake of grief I strain
Which now reflects not moon or stars, not the bright Sun and not my scars,
Not my own heart behind thick bars which once increased its rate amain.
Only she’s in that reflection while the waters break amain …
Drowned, without her shall remain.
In dedication…your name I cannot say, but in silence it shall remain…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
this is a LONG POEM but its worth it,
i need to edit it
21 LINES AND UNDER
its for a POETRY CONTEST
NEED HELP...!
“CORVUS CORAX” inspired by “the raven”
1
I’ve observed the heinous tyranny of the unseen Platonic entity
And why its joys are scant in count compared with its soul-breaking pain,
And throughout my contemplation I have felt an hesitation
Against this cynic mutilation of thy soul and mind in vain
Whittling thy own feelings borders while you crave for it in vain,
And so forever shall remain.
2
I am in that situation which contests my comprehension
And obsesses my own judgment slowly driving me insane,
Cause my scruples began to shatter and my thoughts started to scatter,
My accomplishments don’t matter and it’s slaughtering my brain.
I don’t know how much to take it while this longing rives my brain
And its torture shall remain.
3
While I yield these prolix verses something happens ‘gainst my curses,
Brakes them and it cures me cutting my titanic soul felt chain,
Something happened so much higher than my ultimate desire
And my inside hate and fire were extinguished by a rain,
My Erato Muse, My Angel came to me within this rain –
Thrilled, astonished I remain.
4
„Oh, where have you forgot thy wings?" her sweet voice heckles me with stings
„Where’s the spark inside your eyes or those lost tears you still abstain ?“
„My wings...“I stutter , bow my head“...departed me and left me dead !“
„Is it because of me ?“ she said but my next answer I retain.
„Am I thy pestilence ?“ she asks me seeing that I will retain.
„You are and you shall remain.“
5
A tear drops from her humid eyes so I come to realize
How she must feel: „It’s me !“ I tell her going on a one way lane :
„It’s me because my pain consists in untouched love and it persists
On my regrets !...“ I slam my fists in a brick wall „... I’ll never gain
Your mind, your beauty and your heart, you are too far for me to gain !
And heart riven I remain.
6
So with hopes in my heart lacking, dreams destroyed and brain cells blacking
I just live to write these lyrics and to prove that I’m still sane,
To leave something as part of me between the end and start of me,
Between the life and art of me ... yet I am both spark and stain
As you’re to me and will always be my shinning spark and stain.
This poem’s all that shall remain.“
7
Then I pause glutton for reply though my headlong speech don’t imply
And I see that though I struggle my chances go ‘gainst the grain.
While I wait for her decision my heart suffers an incision
Painful like a front collision between me against a train,
Tied up on the tracks of silence and her word’s the speeding train...
In suspense I shall remain.
8
Time stops and I paralyze. All I see are her green eyes
Which reflect sparkling of brightness a black Raven all but plain,
This Prophet bird once seen before repeating that word “Nevermore!”
Like tasting blood from my hearts core and leaving hollows in my vein
Has only shown me what will happen carving beak holes in my vein,
A dark symbol shall remain.
9
A tear falls slow and yet brakes hectic. „Is it mine or hers ?“ I panic.
Have I dropped this sign of weakness showing I am still humane ?
Has this problem of my being reached me deep and it is seeming
Not to solve as it was keening, I just wait for it to drain.
She looks like suffering inside, I wait for the tear to drain,
Its remembrance shall remain.
10
I let her go, I’m in a bind after my detrimental grind
Seeing her for the last time, I loss all hope that I’ll maintain.
Hopeless I begin to figure that there isn’t nothing bigger
Than my last regrets. I linger to think of that word’s refrain,
The Raven has only announced me with those words in his refrain,
Terrorized I shall remain.
11
Once again a spirit dies, it gets no wings to reach the skies
For it is stolen and consumed by this beast in its demesne.
Once again this fowl murdered one man by his own soul smothered
And in flight had him transported on that Nightly shore terrain,
Where recoiling stultifies The Raven reigns on that terrain.
Its resident I shall remain.
12
My spirit breathes its last life’s flame, I hate though no one is to blame,
I scream though my shouts are on paper so I try thus to explain.
I shall expect no sympathy, I wish to regain my dignity
Because my soul has sickened me and my small mind became arcane.
Since I’ve seen perfection’s form my open mind became arcane.
So I am and shall remain.
13
Thus I banished shall see end, thus the trees began to bend
Above the crystal shimmer waters in my lake of grief I strain
Which now reflects not moon or stars, not the bright Sun and not my scars,
Not my own heart behind thick bars which once increased its rate amain.
Only she’s in that reflection while the waters break amain …
Drowned, without her shall remain.
In dedication…your name I cannot say, but in silence it shall remain…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
