Death wish

[The.Menace]

Death wish

I'm gonna die as a young man, now I'm pretty sure
cause my life got me stressed and there ain't no cure
for my soul - it's like everyday I lose a year
2 Death and I hate it not because of fear
but cause I'd love 2 have just a lil bit of fun
that I'm not supposed 2 feel - gotta run
gotta hustle, gotta fight - everyday every hour - my God
I suffer so much and actually think about suicide a lot
these days cause I'm simply about 2 break
2 finish my tasks this might be what it might take
so I can chose between givin up and 2 die
Death before dishonor - so don't ask why
I actually prepare my funeral - this is how it's gonna be
and it's ok cause 2 die is also a way 2 flee
and leave behind the pain that defines my life
believe me, if I die 2night it's alright
Actually I wish for my death these days
so there is an end 2 this chase



-

 

[Helena]

and it's ok cause 2 die is also a way 2 flee
and leave behind the pain that defines my life

i can relate to this

very nice poem, u are very talented!
keep it up!:thumb: :thumb:

 

[kman_69]

ay man, i can relate to the shit...but i hope u get over the feeling of wanting to die

for real...keep writing man

peace.

 

[Kaos88]

yeh i can really relate to this...i wrote quite a lot of stuff bou goin thru that sorta thing when i was at that point. this is a good piece...well writin...lots of emotion there

keep it up tha writin man...keep ya head up
peace

 

[Synful*Luv]

I liked it, of course, there was this one part, where I was a bit uncertain of the tense you were using. Where you said, I actually prepare my funeral, did you mean now? or when the time comes?

Just curious, i loved it though, you're very talented. I also liked how you did the pauses in this. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I had to reread it a few times before I got the rythmn and spacing right, and once it all came together for me, it made the poem just that much better. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it was a great addition.

 

[Cown]

Very deep poem, and definatly something I can relate too, I felt the same way about a year ago.

The flow and the way you chose your words is great, really nice piece :thumb:

 

[Devious]

Very good poem, a little on the dark side but it's very good, i can almost feel your pain reading it. Good work and props

 

[The.Menace]

Where you said, I actually prepare my funeral, did you mean now?

Well I mean now - I have a death thing and besides thinkin about death a lot and talkin about death I think a lot about my funeral too, picked songs etc.

I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I had to reread it a few times before I got the rythmn and spacing right, and once it all came together for me, it made the poem just that much better. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it was a great addition.

there is no accidentally when it comes 2 poetry.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Cool poem, reminds me of someone I know I think it could relate to alot of people. Hopefully you'll get thru it all n be able to write some happier ones soon

 

[True Thugz]

You still writing death poems? You said it would be like that til the day you died.

Well the structure of the poem is a bit messy but it's a tiny detail. About death, felt like that a few years back so I can relate on a level.

Can't remember if I read this back in the day. I did read a few of them.

Anywayz, you really should get off that 'I wanna die' trip.

 

[Kadafi Son]

gotta hustle, gotta fight - everyday every hour - my God
I suffer so much and actually think about suicide a lot
these days cause I'm simply about 2 break
2 finish my tasks this might be what it might take

Yo, that's was somethin' relative to me sorta. Real shit...I like yo stuff recently Menace. Even though I haven't been on the site for a while. But look, I'll be back on point with you when I get my life 2gether.

Hold on...later

 

[CESARE BORGIA]

That makes me think of someone who's sick of doing the shit he has to do but does it anyhow because he aint got a choice, nice poem.

 

[The.Menace]

Thanks to anyone that replied, means a lot.

artistic girl - it ain't something I could hget tru, this is me.
TT - ain't nothing chaning, what did you mean with mesy though?
KS - thx for the love
BB - nice 2 see u givin feedback, don't stop.

 

[True Thugz]

Just meant the lines didn't do it for me flow wise. Seem to throw the structure off a bit. But like I said it's a tiny detail.

 

[Ivory$horty]

Damn...reading that actually shocked me. Never pictured reading anything like this from you Menace, or maybe I just haven't been around lately to get to read them. Anyway, you hit the nail on the head with this one. The wordplay, the flow, the vibe. All of it was spot on. I've been feeling a lot like this lately, so reading it brought back some painful thoughts and memories. Just what I need to put my pen to paper again.
Thanks for the inspiration.
Great piece.

 

[k69atie]

very very deep poem. very emotional, fantastic piece of writing.

Keep it up :thumb:

 

[assassin_4001]

hey man not baad,,,,really nice piece of work,,,,depressing though which is my favourite type of poems,,,keep it up man,,,

 

[Bigg Limn]

Damn this 1 was fluid as hell. Throughout the whole thing it was just like you were talking directly to the reader - in a private conversation..you could really feel the emotion. Again this is something I can relate to for the most part...although I don't think of Death as a way out of things [I mean it can be, but its not an option in my mind]. Good shit homie.

 

[kimbo_thug]

Dam man ya can realli feel ur pain here
i think thats what makes it such a gd poem
my fav lines were

"I'm gonna die as a young man, now I'm pretty sure
cause my life got me stressed and there ain't no cure
for my soul - it's like everyday I lose a year
2 Death and I hate it not because of fear"

keep it up x

 

[~live2tell~]

Great poem, good vocab and rhythm, interesting content etc etc….

Is it really a death wish though? I feel that this poem spoke about the need for an end to pain and struggle, but does death have to be that end? Death must create more pain down the line for someone else. Menace if you were to die tonight, like expressed in your poem, how do you know that would be the end of your struggle?

I guess what I’m trying to establish is did you write this poem with death in mind or just for the pain to stop?

You know if you stop searching and chasing maybe you’ll find the end.