Gotaway

[Bender]

Here's a little sumthin' I came up with. I would appreciate any comments on my rhyme, being ma first post in this forum. Hope you like


-------- -------- ----- ---------

Stalking the streets, dick flopping in crease,
Last time in the cut I was popping you creeps,
Chip-chopping 'em geeks, like sucking them teets,
Beats, cased in the riff-raff, gold laced checkin' teeth,
Fleet deep on the roam, cops ducking in homes,
I got away with my AK, start sucking my bone,
Keep violence and dope, straight down on the low,
Aint no flashing my buss-pass, one word and it's 'Go',
I know it be one time, two time for the grass,
A warrant complete three, my mission to last.

 

[Bender]

Alright, you don't have to like it, but you could leave a comment regardless.

 

[.cloud.]

The potential seems to be there -- at least you have a good command over your grammar -- but the rhyme itself seemed to cookie-cutter 'gangsta', imo.

 

[Hennessy]

ya, this wasn't bad, just keep writin bro.

 

[Florida123]

Aint no flashing my buss-pass, one word and it's 'Go'

my favorite line...keep writing you have talent

 

[CalcuoCuchicheo]

I like it, although I have to agree with .cloud.'s comment about it not being about much.

Still, I'd be intrigued to hear you actually rhyme it as it's the type of shit where the flow would need to be spot on.