High And Weeded/ I Don't Know

[Kadafi Son]

High And Weeded/ I Don't Know

Drama is mandatory in when walkin' this savage life
To feel some freedom or love, it always comes with a price
I smoked a joint before, luckily I didn't suffer a consequene
All I did was distort my souls connection and it was common sense
I was high, so high. Oh my, I felt so calm and still
But hold on. For some reason, I could not feel the weed appeal
For that, I knew I didn't have to keep smokin'
Shit my parents did it with me as an embryo and in my blood, it's still potent
How could this be, after 3 session, I still felt like me
After the 7th session, I knew that that weed, at least for me, didn't set you free
Me and my spirit had to get reaquainted
Funny how I almost followed my father, ain't it
I was also drinkin heavily cuz I didn't give a damn
I've been sober a long time now, workin' on being a man
But still I don't know, has my high lasted sense an embryo
Why am I so calm and crazy, only God knows
Cause don't know if I ain't weeded
I don't know if I ain't tipsy
I don't know if I ain't innocenct
I just know that God is with me

Just a lil' somethin' I've had on my mind since birth. You'd have to know me personally to understand wats behind this poem. Jotted it down,seen how it came out, and still not knowin' true why I do the things I do. The things I do are too unique and out of the ordinary from what other people do. Thats why they call me crazy...

 

[The.Menace]

I can't really get into this cause the length of the lines changes so much, it's hard to find a rhythm, at least for me right now.

 

[kimbo_thug]

yeah the start was a bit emmmm shaky or some thing just couldnt get into it but like you says " You'd have to know me personally to understand wats behind this poem" much luv x

 

[Florida123]

i can dig this...nicely written

 

[GhettoStar]

High And Weeded/ I Don't Know

Drama is mandatory in when walkin' this savage life
To feel some freedom or love, it always comes with a price
I smoked a joint before, luckily I didn't suffer a consequene
All I did was distort my souls connection and it was common sense
I was high, so high. Oh my, I felt so calm and still
But hold on. For some reason, I could not feel the weed appeal
For that, I knew I didn't have to keep smokin'
Shit my parents did it with me as an embryo and in my blood, it's still potent
How could this be, after 3 session, I still felt like me
After the 7th session, I knew that that weed, at least for me, didn't set you free
Me and my spirit had to get reaquainted
Funny how I almost followed my father, ain't it
I was also drinkin heavily cuz I didn't give a damn
I've been sober a long time now, workin' on being a man
But still I don't know, has my high lasted sense an embryo
Why am I so calm and crazy, only God knows
Cause don't know if I ain't weeded
I don't know if I ain't tipsy
I don't know if I ain't innocenct
I just know that God is with me

Just a lil' somethin' I've had on my mind since birth. You'd have to know me personally to understand wats behind this poem. Jotted it down,seen how it came out, and still not knowin' true why I do the things I do. The things I do are too unique and out of the ordinary from what other people do. Thats why they call me crazy...

Since birth???If thats the case man give you a prize right now, hahaha but on the real the imagery of this and the concepts are really on point, the fact is that waht you have spoken on is something that phliosphers have written and fought about for years, the fact that everything is a ying and yang...and the fact that there is an omnipant being watching over us....it is a really deep work, hopefully with my feedback people will see how deep it is if they didnt before.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

It's one of those poems you read twice, or however many times it takes until it flows the way its meant to. Real nice stuff, different approach to the weed topic and I liked it. Well Done.

 

[kman_69]

^^yeah i agree, i had to read it twice so it would flow....but i like how its written!

nice job man

peace.

 

[Katarina]

Try to work on the lines, make them about the same length and read through the poem a few times before you finish it, because when the poem doesn't flow well the reader loses intrest and forgets the meaning of the poem which is exactly the opposite of what you want. You know how to rhyme and you have a good vocabulary, you just need to work on how to put it into poetry form. Keep writing.

 

[Devious]

pretty good stuff, i can relate to a lot of it, its kind of all over the place like some other people said, but after a couple of reads it fits nicely

 

[Kadafi Son]

I wanna thank everybody on there opinion on my poem. Especially Ghettostar, you helped me understand another aspect of my own poem. Appreciate it. Honestly, I didn't how to fully express myself on this topic because there was so much in conflict with myself on this, but thanx 4 the look ya'll. later

Peace

 

[MATW95]

For that, I knew I didn't have to keep smokin'
Shit my parents did it with me as an embryo and in my blood, it's still potent

Why am I so calm and crazy, only God knows
Cause don't know if I ain't weeded
I don't know if I ain't tipsy
I don't know if I ain't innocenct
I just know that God is with me

^ Some of my favorite parts

I like the fact that it's a very personal piece and I can see that you put some heart into it. For rhythmic purposes though, like everybody else said, cutting unnecessary words may make it that much stronger.