How Twilight Works
- Thread starter Casey
- Start date
I promised my girl I would watch the second one with her, and I hate going into a movie and not knowing wtf is going on, so I watched the first one a few nights ago.
I started the movie KNOWING I was going to hate it. And I was right. It had terrible special effects, corny lines, uninteresting characters, and even worse acting that "Who's Your Caddy?"
I liked about 3 characters in the whole movie, one being "James" only because I liked the dude in Never Back Down. The other being the "Father" vampire, mainly because he looked remarkably like Tom Cruise in Interview with the Vampire. The last being Alice, because she was fucking hot and could bend her leg suuuuper high whilst pitching. Hello Alice, you're now a permanent resident of my spank-bank.
The plot also sucked, I imagine my vampires like "Interview with the Vampire" first, "Blade" second, and "Twilight" around 999,999. Twilight took everything that a vampire was supposed to be, and reversed it. They are supposed to combust in daylight, let's make them sparkle instead. That isn't a vampire, it's a fucking fairy.
So I watched the second one. It sucked, too, but had much better special effects. The actors were "prettier" because they seemed to get darker somehow. Especially Bella, but, she remained unattractive to me. The characters all pissed me off. Every one of them. Especially Jacob. It also pissed me off how they hyped the "Edward vs. Jacob" bullshit so much and they didn't even fight. It also pissed me off that Bella turned into a virgin-whore and "loves" both of them. They should just bail on her and go fuck each other like you know they both secretly want to do.
There were so many contradictions in the movies, which mutilated any hopes of a plot, and I won't even attempt to list them because there are that many.
I thought both movies had one good part each.
Twilight: Edward leaves Bella alone for a second outside prom, Jacob comes over to talk to her, Edward returns and says, "I leave you alone for two seconds and the wolves descend," I just thought it was clever.
And New Moon: Bella asks Alice if she's coming back, Alice replies, "Yes, when you put the dog out." Alice is fucking hot.
Both movies suck, 4.0/10, and that's me being generous.
I started the movie KNOWING I was going to hate it. And I was right. It had terrible special effects, corny lines, uninteresting characters, and even worse acting that "Who's Your Caddy?"
I liked about 3 characters in the whole movie, one being "James" only because I liked the dude in Never Back Down. The other being the "Father" vampire, mainly because he looked remarkably like Tom Cruise in Interview with the Vampire. The last being Alice, because she was fucking hot and could bend her leg suuuuper high whilst pitching. Hello Alice, you're now a permanent resident of my spank-bank.
The plot also sucked, I imagine my vampires like "Interview with the Vampire" first, "Blade" second, and "Twilight" around 999,999. Twilight took everything that a vampire was supposed to be, and reversed it. They are supposed to combust in daylight, let's make them sparkle instead. That isn't a vampire, it's a fucking fairy.
So I watched the second one. It sucked, too, but had much better special effects. The actors were "prettier" because they seemed to get darker somehow. Especially Bella, but, she remained unattractive to me. The characters all pissed me off. Every one of them. Especially Jacob. It also pissed me off how they hyped the "Edward vs. Jacob" bullshit so much and they didn't even fight. It also pissed me off that Bella turned into a virgin-whore and "loves" both of them. They should just bail on her and go fuck each other like you know they both secretly want to do.
There were so many contradictions in the movies, which mutilated any hopes of a plot, and I won't even attempt to list them because there are that many.
I thought both movies had one good part each.
Twilight: Edward leaves Bella alone for a second outside prom, Jacob comes over to talk to her, Edward returns and says, "I leave you alone for two seconds and the wolves descend," I just thought it was clever.
And New Moon: Bella asks Alice if she's coming back, Alice replies, "Yes, when you put the dog out." Alice is fucking hot.
Both movies suck, 4.0/10, and that's me being generous.
I know I will probably be forced into watching those, too, but I make her watch some things girls don't typically like, so I can't bitch too much. I had her ruin the next two movies for me, because she's read all the books. She told me whether or not Bella becomes a vampire, too, and the whole Edward/Jacob thing. I just don't dig the "vampires falling in love" bs. But, they are making millions doing it, more power to them.
Donate
Any donations will be used to help pay for the site costs, and anything donated above will be donated to C-Dub's son on behalf of this community.
Members online
No members online now.