I think there are zombies in my attic
- Thread starter Ristol
- Start date
We had a family of coons living in our attic/crawlspace for the past few years. They'd make themselves at home, piss, and just run around doing their usual tomfoolery.
Finally, the piss started to seep through the insulation and into the wood structure of the house and then made a large, yellow stain on the ceiling. And started to stink.
We called animal control and they said they'd set traps on our roof, with bait, and that once we heard them get caught, we'd have 24 hours to call them to remove it. They charged $100 every time they came out. And, like I said, it was a damn family of coons.
After the first few times, my parents got sick of more and more moving in, no matter how far away the animal control threw them away so they wouldn't come back, so they stopped with the humane animal control, and instead we found some Mexicans that were working on our house at the time and asked them what to do. They said they'd set up their own traps for us and wouldn't charge, as they enjoyed making hats and shit out of coon skin. Problem solved.
I haven't heard shit from my attic in about two years.
Ruff Ryders for life!
Finally, the piss started to seep through the insulation and into the wood structure of the house and then made a large, yellow stain on the ceiling. And started to stink.
We called animal control and they said they'd set traps on our roof, with bait, and that once we heard them get caught, we'd have 24 hours to call them to remove it. They charged $100 every time they came out. And, like I said, it was a damn family of coons.
After the first few times, my parents got sick of more and more moving in, no matter how far away the animal control threw them away so they wouldn't come back, so they stopped with the humane animal control, and instead we found some Mexicans that were working on our house at the time and asked them what to do. They said they'd set up their own traps for us and wouldn't charge, as they enjoyed making hats and shit out of coon skin. Problem solved.
I haven't heard shit from my attic in about two years.
Ruff Ryders for life!
Gather round I have a story to share!!!!!!!
It was summer break and a friend and I were hanging out at his house. I would say we were 14 at the time of this incident. So we're hanging out doing what the cool kids do and we hear this shuffling around in his ceiling. we immediately think it's some sort of rodent so we're like aw fuck that's kind of gross we need to get em out of there. We were mischievous little fucks so we had these pellet guns handy. The entrance to his attic was in his garage and it was just a piece of wood you slide over and then climb up. Since my heart doesn't pump slushy like my friends he says I have to go up first. I gather everything I think I need. Ladder, weapon, secondary weapon(butter knife) hockey gloves and a hockey helmet. So I set up the ladder push the piece of wood over with a broomstick to open the entrance and fuck, we realize there is no lights. We don't have a flashlight so I have the idea of plugging in some christmas lights and throwing them up there, so we do that as best we can without having to actually go up there. I'm getting kind of scared at this point. The attic has been open for about 10 mins and nothing is coming out and we still hear little bit of movement but not much. But whatever it's go time. I proceed with extreme caution up the ladder and barely poke the gun and my head up into the attic. I see nothing. The lights are working pretty well but aren't shining all over like I had hoped. I grab some of the lights and throw em to the furthest corner. As soon as I do a fucking human being appears in the corner. I'm shook as fuck. I completely fall off the ladder and squeeze the trigger as a reaction I guess. I'm like fuck fuck fuck to my friend there is a guy up there. I'm falling yelling going crazy and meanwhile we hear the guy up in the attic saying oww. I accidentally shot him, well purposely, sort of. At this point we obviously have no idea who he is so we start grabbing lawn tools like shovels, pitch fork thing just any really good weapon lol. We're like who are you what are you doing up there sort of yelling at him. He was frightened, we were frightened he wasn't about to come down and we didn't want him to. We calm down after a couple minutes and he explains he's a bum and has been up there for almost a week! A fucking week. We're just thinking get the fuck out of here. We tell him to come down we're not going to hurt him none of that. At first he wasn't having it, thought we would try to attack him. We're telling him we're calling the police if he doesn't get down, he doesn't budge, we were in a standoff for like 10 minutes. We keep talking and he finally agrees. Dude moseys on down the ladder looks us up and down,I'm still in rodent removal gear mind you, hockey mask etc, tosses us a couch pillow from my friends couch and walks out. We stand there speechless. We called his mom right after she comes home calls the police police come and crawl up there and remove some plates couple magazines some clothing and a bag of human shit. To this day, it's still the craziest thing that has ever happened to me.
And that's my story
It was summer break and a friend and I were hanging out at his house. I would say we were 14 at the time of this incident. So we're hanging out doing what the cool kids do and we hear this shuffling around in his ceiling. we immediately think it's some sort of rodent so we're like aw fuck that's kind of gross we need to get em out of there. We were mischievous little fucks so we had these pellet guns handy. The entrance to his attic was in his garage and it was just a piece of wood you slide over and then climb up. Since my heart doesn't pump slushy like my friends he says I have to go up first. I gather everything I think I need. Ladder, weapon, secondary weapon(butter knife) hockey gloves and a hockey helmet. So I set up the ladder push the piece of wood over with a broomstick to open the entrance and fuck, we realize there is no lights. We don't have a flashlight so I have the idea of plugging in some christmas lights and throwing them up there, so we do that as best we can without having to actually go up there. I'm getting kind of scared at this point. The attic has been open for about 10 mins and nothing is coming out and we still hear little bit of movement but not much. But whatever it's go time. I proceed with extreme caution up the ladder and barely poke the gun and my head up into the attic. I see nothing. The lights are working pretty well but aren't shining all over like I had hoped. I grab some of the lights and throw em to the furthest corner. As soon as I do a fucking human being appears in the corner. I'm shook as fuck. I completely fall off the ladder and squeeze the trigger as a reaction I guess. I'm like fuck fuck fuck to my friend there is a guy up there. I'm falling yelling going crazy and meanwhile we hear the guy up in the attic saying oww. I accidentally shot him, well purposely, sort of. At this point we obviously have no idea who he is so we start grabbing lawn tools like shovels, pitch fork thing just any really good weapon lol. We're like who are you what are you doing up there sort of yelling at him. He was frightened, we were frightened he wasn't about to come down and we didn't want him to. We calm down after a couple minutes and he explains he's a bum and has been up there for almost a week! A fucking week. We're just thinking get the fuck out of here. We tell him to come down we're not going to hurt him none of that. At first he wasn't having it, thought we would try to attack him. We're telling him we're calling the police if he doesn't get down, he doesn't budge, we were in a standoff for like 10 minutes. We keep talking and he finally agrees. Dude moseys on down the ladder looks us up and down,I'm still in rodent removal gear mind you, hockey mask etc, tosses us a couch pillow from my friends couch and walks out. We stand there speechless. We called his mom right after she comes home calls the police police come and crawl up there and remove some plates couple magazines some clothing and a bag of human shit. To this day, it's still the craziest thing that has ever happened to me.
And that's my story
i lost my sim card last night. how the fuck do you lose a sim card and not the phone? well, i'll tell you. my power button doesn't work so I take the battery out as a way of shutting it down. how do i turn it on? by plugging it into a charger. THESE ARE PROBLEMS. i took the battery out in a drunken stupor, 4am ish, and the sim card must have fallen out in the process. the worst part is, i spent the whole day thinking that t-mobile is down. but i couldn't find anything on twitter about it so i figured it must be the phone. it was by mere chance that I noticed the sim card was gone after the 5th time I tried to restart it. you'd think the phone would let you know these things.
i turned it off because when I got a text, my screen went black and the bottom row keys lit up and stayed lit up. the phone fucking froze. the dumb idea was to power it off knowing i can't power it back on without a charger. but i was angry at it lol.
and no, MOST phones tell you a sim card is missing. not this fucker. it just says that it can't connect to my service (t-mobile) and does not state a reason. also, there's no sim card icon on the task bar or anything.
and no, MOST phones tell you a sim card is missing. not this fucker. it just says that it can't connect to my service (t-mobile) and does not state a reason. also, there's no sim card icon on the task bar or anything.
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