let me give this a test drive

[SeveN]

first time posting in this section, but writing for a long time now, i think 1 1/2 years.
ive been listening to alot of brotha lynch lately so i made somethin like the gbc

its the triple six shit
bullets rippen ur flesh
straight thru ur vest
nigga welcome to ur death
you dont wana see the blood leaking
outta the skull with the brain shrinking
full of lead hella weight as you meet your fate
who everyone dreads? me
why everyone fled? me
so get your hsit together
dont try to be clever
cuz, see this infared, you no better
its the triple six with the deadliest tricks
aunthentic you know, but, still-dont-wana-join-my-cliq
wana kick some dust, stay outta the rush
cuz if i have to, ill bust if i must
plus your last remenents will be chalk dust
blown away by a strong gust
full of disgust, nigga, full of distrust
you wanted to lust, but i killed you and my girl
9mm thru her pussy and your right testicle

 

[WestRhymes]

It was hard for me to catch the flow on this one since the lines differ in length throughout the drop. Topics been played, but that means nothing, just my opinon. Try working with some more complex rhyme schemes. Multis, metaphors, etc. They really add the to flow and character of a drop.

Keep writing!