Magnetism.

#1
i haven't dropped in here for quite awhile, i just wrote this in the last 20 min or so, it has alot of rhyming, but it seemed more suited for here. I will be replying to more threads.

----

I sit, staring, attacking these lines
Kids sharing the past in their minds
The shadows of time reassuring them of truth
In the same moment they lure them from youth
Away from the innocence,
They stray from the beginning, it's.. fate i suppose
The rearranging of notes, shown even stranger in prose
Hallucinations explode, questions of life rise from the answers
With history holding strings, while my mind is the dancer
And what i hope to bring: the realization of how to think
Noticing, that the two worlds don't need to be out of sinc
The magnetism of faith, the pressing of opposites
The wisdom, the hate, the stress of the topic it's..
.. hardly sane, the largest brain can't explain
Why Godly children who pray, still stand in shame
They rant in pain, unable to understand.
Covered in rain, fingers pressed into their mothers hands
Why, Why would a loving, illustrious Lord do such a thing
Hoping for sunrays, the days where doves will sing.
The love will bring a truth to those who follow all his laws
..and you'll see the water is only teardrops of an honest God.
 

Kadafi Son

Well-Known Member
#3
I liked it. Rhyme scheme was on point and I liked how you ended it off. It was real influential. I don't remember seeing you on here, but whats up. Keep on writin'
 
#4
yea, i been here for the past 4 1/2 years lol, but just been inactive for about 1, since the text battling/topical scene went down.
 
#5
Dope. You seem to drop bucket loads of imagery in your pieces which ain't easy. But if you do have the imagination for it, it definately is something to see to the eye of the beholder (reader). It works great.

Keep it up.
 
#7
Hennessy said:
i haven't dropped in here for quite awhile, i just wrote this in the last 20 min or so, it has alot of rhyming, but it seemed more suited for here. I will be replying to more threads.

----

I sit, staring, attacking these lines
Kids sharing the past in their minds
The shadows of time reassuring them of truth
In the same moment they lure them from youth
Away from the innocence,
They stray from the beginning, it's.. fate i suppose
The rearranging of notes, shown even stranger in prose
Hallucinations explode, questions of life rise from the answers
With history holding strings, while my mind is the dancer
And what i hope to bring: the realization of how to think
Noticing, that the two worlds don't need to be out of sinc
The magnetism of faith, the pressing of opposites
The wisdom, the hate, the stress of the topic it's..
.. hardly sane, the largest brain can't explain
Why Godly children who pray, still stand in shame
They rant in pain, unable to understand.
Covered in rain, fingers pressed into their mothers hands
Why, Why would a loving, illustrious Lord do such a thing
Hoping for sunrays, the days where doves will sing.
The love will bring a truth to those who follow all his laws
..and you'll see the water is only teardrops of an honest God.

Great drop as always :D

Hmmm what could I say, the imagery is fantastic and some of those phrases I have to admit are jaw-dropping. Its a stimulating read, kept me intrigued from start to finish, really good in it's entirety. Good to see that you are still writing, keep it up.
 

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