Memories of a broken life

[Cown]

I haven't been as diligent with my writting as I once used to be, but I managed to put this together the other day.

-

Memories of a broken life,
Hell torn through me like a burning knife
Contemplating reality and dreams,
Unable to focus with the whispers of screams
Unfortunate betrayal of ones self,
Love forgotten by the hunger for wealth
Ignorance cosumed my soul,
Wishing it be a dream but I’ve lost all control
Remorce fills my petriefied heart,
Trying to find out what made my life depart
Unberable fire replaced by cold,
Hells eternal flames have yet many trouths to unfold
Time here is forever still,
Only the pleasure of others yet to fulfill
Blind hope hidden in my soul,
Waiting for you to again make me whole

 

[True Thugz]

I liked it man.

Keep it up :thumb:

 

[jasedwads]

nice poem, put in a clever way, i liked it, good using the hot and cold images to paint a poem that reflects the way you feel.

 

[Maverick]

very nice write.

thanks.

pz.

 

[Blunted Dreamz]

Contemplating reality and dreams,
Unable to focus with the whispers of screams
Unfortunate betrayal of ones self,
Love forgotten by the hunger for wealth
Ignorance cosumed my soul,
Wishing it be a dream but I’ve lost all control

loved this part the best, I can totally relate. I wonder when it becomes too late to change our path.

 

[fwn]

Time here is forever still,
Only the pleasure of others yet to fulfill
Blind hope hidden in my soul,
Waiting for you to again make me whole

Damn right! luv those last lines...if u cant end a poem in the right way then the body doesnt make so much sense...but i for one love that ending.

 

[Cown]

heh thanks guys ^^ glad you liked it

 

[kman_69]

definetly feelin this...well written!

good to see another drop from you cown!

peace!

 

[Cown]

Thanks kman, yeah I've been a way for a while, had alot of shit to resolve in my life, but it's all good now, I'ma be written alot more from now on, thanks again for peepin

 

[The.Menace]

I like that. You draw nice pictures with your language, it's not as direct as my poetry for example, but I like the way you put those pictures and I like the rhyme - nice piece.

 

[Ivory$horty]

Memories of a broken life,
Hell torn through me like a burning knife
Contemplating reality and dreams,
Unable to focus with the whispers of screams
Unfortunate betrayal of ones self,
Love forgotten by the hunger for wealth
Ignorance cosumed my soul,
Wishing it be a dream but I’ve lost all control

^^ Really loved this part. I also loved your flow through out this entire piece. The words rolled off my tongue perfectly as I read this out loud. Beautiful writing as usual...nice to see that you haven't stopped
Keep it up!

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[Cown]

I like that. You draw nice pictures with your language, it's not as direct as my poetry for example, but I like the way you put those pictures and I like the rhyme - nice piece.

Thanks alot for peepin, yeah we all have different ways of expressing ourselves and that's what makes writting so great ^^

Memories of a broken life,
Hell torn through me like a burning knife
Contemplating reality and dreams,
Unable to focus with the whispers of screams
Unfortunate betrayal of ones self,
Love forgotten by the hunger for wealth
Ignorance cosumed my soul,
Wishing it be a dream but I’ve lost all control

^^ Really loved this part. I also loved your flow through out this entire piece. The words rolled off my tongue perfectly as I read this out loud. Beautiful writing as usual...nice to see that you haven't stopped
Keep it up!

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

Thanks Shorty, means alot

 

[Elmira]

It's painful. Though crafted nicely. I could really feel the rhythm in this piece.

Lines that appealed to me most...

Time here is forever still,
Only the pleasure of others yet to fulfill
Blind hope hidden in my soul,
Waiting for you to again make me whole

 

[M4cKaVe71]

you kinda resemble my poetic flow. this might be the major reason because I liked your poem ;p
keep it real!

 

[jimmyk88]

I'm lovin it.Keep it up man.

 

[KJ13]

thats an awesome poem....i like the way you you used those words...its real good....since your sayin that you havent been as diligent with your writtin as you once used to be makes me think what kinda writin you used to do. keep up the work. im luvin it

 

[~live2tell~]

Nice work Cown, although you need to check some spellings

My fave lines were the last four, very poetic indeed.

I liked the visuality of this poem, you used some really good descriptive vocab throughout.

 

[babygurl]

just wonderful.....das all i can say
good work!!!

 

[Cown]

^Thank you

thats an awesome poem....i like the way you you used those words...its real good....since your sayin that you havent been as diligent with your writtin as you once used to be makes me think what kinda writin you used to do. keep up the work. im luvin it

Thanks for peepin. Well I've written alot actually, not sure you can find anything else from on here though

Nice work Cown, although you need to check some spellings

My fave lines were the last four, very poetic indeed.

I liked the visuality of this poem, you used some really good descriptive vocab throughout.

Glad you liked it Sara, and thanks for taking the time to check it out Well my spelling usually always sucks in poems lol, I'm mostly high or drunk when I write it

 

[kimbo_thug]

Nice feeling to it
also liked tha rhyming scheme of it just tha words fit nice togeather
xo