Mr. Makaveli

[verse]

i replyed to rest in peace tupac and kadafi
i wrote this when i was listening to "the hearts of men"

Mr. Makaveli…
Tell me how I can find such complexity in the simplicity of your spoken mind
How you put me in a state or perplexity over the thoughts of broken memories I left behind
How you can be in heaven but leave your heart poured out next to me in a world I still can't find
Explain how a dead man can get to me and help me up a ladder I once couldn't climb

Mr. Makaveli I can't get over this brain-rattling mystery
You get me high on rain-battling words not labeled history
Let me tell you that your lyrics still live inside my heart
And your spirit still lingers in the place of your start
In the minds of forgotten children getting lost in their speakers
And the crimes of sinful people lying to them - fake preachers

 

[~live2tell~]

i replyed to rest in peace tupac and kadafi
i wrote this when i was listening to "the hearts of men"

Mr. Makaveli…
Tell me how I can find such complexity in the simplicity of your spoken mind
How you put me in a state or perplexity over the thoughts of broken memories I left behind
How you can be in heaven but leave your heart poured out next to me in a world I still can't find
Explain how a dead man can get to me and help me up a ladder I once couldn't climb

Mr. Makaveli I can't get over this brain-rattling mystery
You get me high on rain-battling words not labeled history
Let me tell you that your lyrics still live inside my heart
And your spirit still lingers in the place of your start
In the minds of forgotten children getting lost in their speakers
And the crimes of sinful people lying to them - fake preachers

I especially like the structure and layout of this poem... kinda like in letter form letting Tupac know how you feel about him and the influences and difference he made in your life.

Your rhymes are nice too, I just feel like the poem is unfinished though like there is more to come.

Definitely a good start to what could be a great dedication poem.

 

[shattered dreams]

yeah i liked this poem alot says what i feel about tupac as well..just maybe not to the whole extent you take it...very nicely written

 

[Belo]

I especially like the structure and layout of this poem... kinda like in letter form letting Tupac know how you feel about him and the influences and difference he made in your life.

Your rhymes are nice too, I just feel like the poem is unfinished though like there is more to come.

Definitely a good start to what could be a great dedication poem.

I agree... the ending was left open it felt like.. but that can be a good way of finishing a poem anyway
This was really good.. I liked the concept and the way you wrote it.. some nice word use in there
Keep up the good work
Peace

 

[Ivory$horty]

This was dope. I really encourage you to expand this piece though because it could become something really amazing and even better than it already is. I wasn't feeling the way you ended this piece, it was too abrupt and I was left thinking "is that it?" You have talent and potential, so please don't leave this poem as it is. I would love to see what else you could do with it.
I loved your choice of words, and the way you expressed yourself so openly and intellectually.
Again, this was tight. But I feel you could do more. So, keep that in mind and make sure you keep writing.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[Jocka]

As they said, ending seemed open still. I liked the form of it looking like a letter too. Made it more realistic and you could get into it more. Nice poem

 

[jm5471]

this was really good, i liked how u used it as a conversation, good writing keep it up

 

[radkin]

really nice, a lot of 2pac could relate to this

 

[kman_69]

ah this was dope

In the minds of forgotten children getting lost in their speakers

^^loved that line!

for real, was nice man!

peace.