My life

#1
Wanna gonna back to when i was young and shit was easy
All it took was to be with friends and that pleased me
Now im older and friends are hard to find , Outta sight Outta mind
And Now i Dont sleep , thoughts are too deep.
Pray that i could cause when ya dreaming everythings good
But instead im Forever awake ..
Guess Every one moved on So thats what im tryin to do ,
But how do u move on when theres No one to help you throught ?

No-one Knows how i feel cause no-one wants to no
Tryin to be happy but cant let pain go
Cover it with a smile but in ma poems im cryin
laughing like hell when inside im dyin ,
All the thoughts in my head never come out right
if i wrote everything i felt my poems would be tight
wish i could tell some one in words tha shit that i feel
for all of you that think this is fiction
This is my life and it couldnt be more real

Tha worst of it is i hate myself for just being me
so im a say goodbye 2 happyness cause thats sumfin im never gonna be
 

Kadafi Son

Well-Known Member
#3
kimbo_thug said:
No-one Knows how i feel cause no-one wants to no
Tryin to be happy but cant let pain go
Cover it with a smile but in ma poems im cryin
laughing like hell when inside im dyin ,
All the thoughts in my head never come out right
if i wrote everything i felt my poems would be tight
wish i could tell some one in words tha shit that i feel
for all of you that think this is fiction
This is my life and it couldnt be more real

Tha worst of it is i hate myself for just being me
so im a say goodbye 2 happyness cause thats sumfin im never gonna be
Kimbo, that was some real true shit there. I can relate to this because I've had that same probably all my life. The rhyme scheme, the flow, tha words u used was real str8. Very good poem. Just keep prayin' and eventually, thangs is gonna make a turn for good

Peace...

(sometimes, it's hard 2 follow your own advice, but stay strong)
 

The.Menace

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#4
I like this poem a lot cause I can relate to the msg. The ryhmes and all was ok, sometiems I feel like it was a lil off like "Now im older and friends are hard to find , Outta sight Outta mind" ... I feel like the second part is to short to go with the first line, but like I said, that just a lil thing I noticed and maybe I'm jsut wreid today, ;) ..... the msg outshines those lil things I noticed anyway, so that makes it a really good poem.
 

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