~~~Numbers~~~

[Tha Thug Poet]

***I haven't been around much lately but since today is my birthday I thought I would write something. Please understand that this piece is an emotional peice for me so I know that the flow is off but it's something I have been meaning to do for a long time***

Numbers---

22 Thats how old that I am today
$19 is how much my bank got when there's bills to pay
23 is how many months old my daughter is
6 is how many years I've been trying to get in tha Rap biz
2 1/2 would be how many years my wife and I have been married
32 would be how many of my closest niggahz I've burried
17 days is how old my daughter Cristina Kayley is about to be
15 Grand is how much debt I owe and got collectors after me
21 that number represents my wifes beatiful age
15 is the number of months I was locked up due to my rage
2 would be the number of packs that I have just smoked
3 would be how many years since I have last toked
8 thats how many years ago that church and I have parted ways
4 is how many hours I have slept over the period of six days
5 is how many things I have currently selling on ebay
30 would be the number of hours I think there should be in a day
1 is the number of times that I thought I was having a heart attack
7 is the number of potatoes I think by law should be in a sack
13 is my lucky number and I really don't know why
9 is how many hours since the last time I thought I should die
$350 would be the amount that I spent on my first car
$1.50 is the maximum that I'd ever spend on a single cigar
2400 is what they call midnight in military time
1 is how many times I have written down this rhyme
93 is the flight number of the plane that didn't hit the Towers
2 is the number of times that I have bought my mother Flowers
439 is the amount of money in my bank after I get paid and buy diapers galore
18,490 thats the total above numbers and American's wounded in the Iraqi War

Forget the numbers but 9,831 American's have died and we're keeping score
2008 Bush will be Out and America's children shouldn't die anymore
Support our troops by bringing them homeso my homies don't have to die
I'm 22 and all my closest friends were soldiers who have died, I wonder why?
Why do you Ask? For weapons of Mass destruction? Nope it was for Oil
Cold ass motherfu--in world when my niggahz die for whats under anothers soil

 

[GhettoStar]

***I haven't been around much lately but since today is my birthday I thought I would write something. Please understand that this piece is an emotional peice for me so I know that the flow is off but it's something I have been meaning to do for a long time***

Numbers---

22 Thats how old that I am today
$19 is how much my bank got when there's bills to pay
23 is how many months old my daughter is
6 is how many years I've been trying to get in tha Rap biz
2 1/2 would be how many years my wife and I have been married
32 would be how many of my closest niggahz I've burried
17 days is how old my daughter Cristina Kayley is about to be
15 Grand is how much debt I owe and got collectors after me
21 that number represents my wifes beatiful age
15 is the number of months I was locked up due to my rage
2 would be the number of packs that I have just smoked
3 would be how many years since I have last toked
8 thats how many years ago that church and I have parted ways
4 is how many hours I have slept over the period of six days
5 is how many things I have currently selling on ebay
30 would be the number of hours I think there should be in a day
1 is the number of times that I thought I was having a heart attack
7 is the number of potatoes I think by law should be in a sack
13 is my lucky number and I really don't know why
9 is how many hours since the last time I thought I should die
$350 would be the amount that I spent on my first car
$1.50 is the maximum that I'd ever spend on a single cigar
2400 is what they call midnight in military time
1 is how many times I have written down this rhyme
93 is the flight number of the plane that didn't hit the Towers
2 is the number of times that I have bought my mother Flowers
439 is the amount of money in my bank after I get paid and buy diapers galore
18,490 thats the total above numbers and American's wounded in the Iraqi War

Forget the numbers but 9,831 American's have died and we're keeping score
2008 Bush will be Out and America's children shouldn't die anymore
Support our troops by bringing them homeso my homies don't have to die
I'm 22 and all my closest friends were soldiers who have died, I wonder why?
Why do you Ask? For weapons of Mass destruction? Nope it was for Oil
Cold ass motherfu--in world when my niggahz die for whats under anothers soil

I enjoyed this piece although it was hard for me to get into it entirely due to the amount of text involved in it, although I have to say your points were clear epsically the fact this was all bout mr. president Bush indeed. A piece of advice: try to connect your lines better that way they flow in consecsionother then disjointed, as well as I say to pick a better topci, this topci about Bush and such is done to detah espcially in slam poetry (trust I have seen it just saw it 2 weeks ago) and it the underground hip-hop/rock cliques. Although the topic is good, leave the Bush bashing asiee and focus on the points, that too many brothas are dying for nothing.

 

[The.Menace]

I like it, even though in the first part it's kinda hard to follow, there is no real story behind it (besides that numbers) ... but I guess that's just how your thoughts are - confused and ... a lot on your mind. Good to see you postin TTP.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Wont offer you any critisism since you said its close to your heart so to you theres nothin wrong.. But I liked it and keep postin'!

 

[kman_69]

loved this one man!....killer ending!...


cant say anymore....really feelin it!

peace.

 

[The_Destroyer]

Really good. I think that it could've been more effective if you changed up the location of the numbers from line-to-line. The way you have it structured currently makes it seem so much more predictable.

Otherwise...good piece.

 

[Kadafi Son]

One of PJ's Best. I read this b4, but didn't get a chance to finish it until now. You need no polishing for this cuz this was a real personal piece 4 u. From tha #'s to the end. The end blew it away 4 me. The way u used the #'s was an talent u showed called creativity & patience. Gotta give u major props Thug Poet. Can't wait 2 see what more u can do...

Peace

 

[~live2tell~]

I love the creativeness of this one and how personal the first part of the poem is but you ended it with something that affects us all. Deep and very expressive. Liked it in it's entirety.