Paradise Lost

#1
I wrote this rhyme cuz this happened to me back in the summer of 2001. I was drinking everyday, not giving a fuck. My homie Mac D was with me during these hard times, eventually i ended up getting sent to rehad cuz my drinking was so bad, these are the war stories from years under the influence...



I get so high when I drink (I Know I shouldn’t But I Still do)
I feel so high when I drink (That’s Why I get high N’ ride wit my crew)

Verse 1: WayCide
Damn first it was a sixer, then a pint and a fifth,
After only a half hour I still ain’t blitzed,
I still ain’t ripped, I wanna get tipsy N’ dizzy,
Rollin’ up hard, spark that blizzy,

Verse 2: Mac D
Doin’ a buck fifty, wit Way riding shotty,
Picking up my homies, there’s no room for the hotties,
The alcohol gots me, Mary Jane wants me,
N’ oddly enough, I still ain’t calling her bluff,

Verse 3: Way
I don’t need that love, I don’t need that hate,
But when I blaze up, I be needing my faith,
My girl yelling at me (You’s A Liar Way, I thought you quit?)
I have to get drunk, cuz I know you don’t love me bitch,

Verse 4: Mac
An itch for the liquor,
Every shot gots me feeling that trigger,
My liver seems to quit, So Should I go N’ throw it up,
But b4 that happens I need quit fillin’ my cup,

I get so high when I drink (I Know I shouldn’t But I Still do)
I feel so high when I drink (That’s Why I get high N’ ride wit my crew)

V5: Mac
Drinkin’ 151 right out the bottle,
I see the cop lights flashin’ so I hit full throttle,
That’s my motto, hit the gas and forget the brake,
I know lord I was suppose to quit today,

V6: Way
I Hit the J, smokin’ a joint,
I’m so high N’ drunk I’m lookin’ for a place to point,
And aim my gun, hollerin’ at Jesus tellin’ him to save his son,
We came as one, but I’m so drunk I think I’ll die for fun,

V7: Mac
I was so drunk I passed out at the wheel,
I could’ve sworn I was in heaven, I didn’t know what was real,
I had a feeling like I wasn’t alone, I wasn’t afraid,
Cuz I was something special, an angel that god made

V8: Way
Will I be saved, is redemption mine?
On my way 2 heaven will I see the signs?
My mind is lost, so is my heart,
My liver ain't the only thing torn apart,

Homies are dying, children calling,
Moms are crying, I hear the angels sobbing,

I get so high when I drink (I Know I shouldn’t But I Still do)
I feel so high when I drink (That’s Why I get high N’ ride wit my crew)

V9: Way
I came out of blackout strapped to the bed,
The doc said I was so high, a native should’ve been dead,
That’s what he said b4 the cops entered the door,
Asking me questions like what was I running for,

V10: Mac
I thank the lord for putting me here,
But Can I live life without the beer,
Liquor N’ weed, is love N’ life all I need?
I feel so weak, I know I ain’t sober,

V11: Way
So tell me when it’s over, the pain N’ hunger,
When I don’t have to drink to suffice the hunger,
Take me under, take me away,
Cuz I know tomorrow won’t be a better day,

V12: Mac
Trapped in a nightmare, inside a dream,
Wanna go home but nothings what it seems,
I did this thing that put me away,
Locked inside a box, away from God’s golden rays.

yeah just a lil cipher me N' my homie was busting back N' forth over some beat I made, let me know what u think
 

ARon

Well-Known Member
#2
I'll reply to it once you reply to 2 others, and we all wonder why no one posts in here, no one replies so whats the point.
 
#5
Aiyte rhyming was real simple, but in this peice i think it was really good thing... good concept of the short stories back and forth... points where i think u coulda improved or ur friend coulda improved is right there:

I thank the lord for putting me here,
But Can I live life without the beer,
Liquor N’ weed, is love N’ life all I need?
I feel so weak, I know I ain’t sober,

V11: Way
So tell me when it’s over, the pain N’ hunger,
When I don’t have to drink to suffice the hunger,


... think the rhyming got a lil weak there, but its all good

~keep spittin
 

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