Radical Solution

[Blunted Dreamz]

Hey all, sorry it has been sooooo long since I been around. Been busy with school and wandering around watching life unfold around me. I haven't dropped any verse in a while, so please let me know if you see any crappy spots or have any suggestions. How about a better title?

I walk around this world surrounded by violence
Both saddened and amazed by the echoing silence
People so afraid of being involved they stare at the ground
Headphones in their ears to avoid hearing a sound
Self-centered leaders so obsessed with power and wealth
They happily destroy our happiness and health
Hoping to put an end to “terrorist” threats and demands
We let our human rights get crushed with both hands
Our world is slowly being destroyed by greed and war
Nearing the point where it can’t take much more
But what can we do to make the madness end?
Our planet and our souls both need a chance mend
To bring and end to the hatred and global pollution
We all need to embrace a radical solution
No weapon is stronger than empathy and love
Not even cluster bombs dropped from above
To win the War on Terror we must use the Art of Peace
No other method will make the prejudiced violence cease
For if we win any other way
Another war WILL start another day

 

[kman_69]

i dont have any crappy suggestions


buy your rhymes seemed a bit forced....unlike ya other peice..

and the ending

To win the War on Terror we must use the Art of Peace
No other method will make the prejudiced violence cease
For if we win any other way
Another war WILL start another day

shit...that was rushed as a fuck..maybe?


forgive me,,,,,at the moment my thgouts cant be direectly linked to my ideas.

but i like this poem....i agree with you.....war is for silly cunts.

 

[Blunted Dreamz]

I think I agree, this was sort of forced and rushed. I haven't written for quite a while and so I prtessured myself too much. It will be reworked for sure, I definately appreciate the input on both poems. Ohhh, I forgot. I was feelin a whole lot 'mellower' when I wrote my other one..... Come to think of it; this is the first poem I ever wrote when I wasn't wrapped in smoke. It's a sign...

 

[shattered dreams]

i like this poem, i agree with everything that you say..favorite lines were

I walk around this world surrounded by violence
Both saddened and amazed by the echoing silence
People so afraid of being involved they stare at the ground
Headphones in their ears to avoid hearing a sound

 

[MX Red]

Man you aint dropped in here for some time, how are things?

That was a great poem, its not often i write in peoples poems, just read em...but this was an exceptional piece. Not only did it flow well, u managed to do that while still making all the needed ideological points. Great work...

For if we win any other way
Another war WILL start another day

Fantastic finish...we may win the battle but the war hasnt even been faught.

Seriously enjoyed this work! Keep it up :thumb:
peace
MX!

 

[jm5471]

i really enjoyed readin this, it has excellent points, my favorite line in it is

walk around this world surrounded by violence
Both saddened and amazed by the echoing silence
People so afraid of being involved they stare at the ground
Headphones in their ears to avoid hearing a sound

 

[Ivory$horty]

Damn...it has been a while since I seen you drop something in here. This is definately unlike your other work but still, you wrote down some thought provoking lines, full of wisdom. I love that about your work.
Fav lines:

I walk around this world surrounded by violence
Both saddened and amazed by the echoing silence
People so afraid of being involved they stare at the ground
Headphones in their ears to avoid hearing a sound

^^ Great way to begin the poem, definately my fav bit. I think it was a lil rushed toward the end, but still a great piece never-the-less.
Nice to see you up in here again
Hope to read more from you...

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~

 

[~live2tell~]

Great poem in its entirety, so true and concise. History will repeat itself. You created some great sentences throughout, my faves are:

People so afraid of being involved they stare at the ground
Headphones in their ears to avoid hearing a sound
Self-centered leaders so obsessed with power and wealth
They happily destroy our happiness and health

To bring and end to the hatred and global pollution
We all need to embrace a radical solution
No weapon is stronger than empathy and love
Not even cluster bombs dropped from above

and I loved the way you ended it, keep writing.

 

[fisherM.A.N.]

i like the concept of this one.. the solution to disputes among peoples in this world is NOT war.. rather, peaceful resolution seems the only way to produce lasting results.. however, this ideal rarely exists in the world today.. nations are racing to create more lethal weapons and bombs that will make bigger explosions rather than trying to repair relations between feuding people before feuds escalate into war.. oh well

i actually thought all the rhymes were on point.. nothing seemed forced to me.. it was straight-forward and easy to understand.. i thought "No weapon is stronger than empathy and love / Not even cluster bombs dropped from above / To win the War on Terror we must use the Art of Peace / No other method will make the prejudiced violence cease..." were the best lines..

keep it up..

~1~