sad story pt. 1

#1
ive been tryin my best, to keep myself clean
lookin at this girl , theres no way she was a fiend
went out a couple weeks and started noticin" things
wallets been fucked with and missin my favorite rings
confronted her about it and swore on my life it wasnt her
ive heard that one before, why is your speech all slurred
im an addict from way back, so i can see right thru you
aint no need in lyin now so just tell me the fuckin truth
so she breaks down, says shes been snortin a little coke
coke dont make ya slur, shes shootin dope btween her toes
cut off all ties, didnt want us to ever get a chance to speak
picked up the newspaper, found out she was dead in a week

this is just part one next part is wondering if i couldve saved her
 
#2
Hey, I liked this.. I like stories, so naturally it was my sorta thing :). I felt wat u had to say and u put it across simply but the msg was there that gave an impact on the reader..even tho its just the beggining.. So i look forward in readin part 2.

ive heard that one before, why is your speech all slurred
im an addict from way back, so i can see right thru you
aint no need in lyin now so just tell me the fuckin truth

^^Thought these lines were tight!! keep it up :D

pz
 
#3
thanks man.... i'd like to get some beats to write some deep lyrics to.... cause i got some stories..haha i think iwould be better at lyrics than poetry
 
#4
this was awesome dude. And the end made it that much more of an impact. This poem was good though. I liked the feel and the emotion and again the end. nice stuff.
 

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