Self Destruction

[ArtsyGirl]

Self Destruction

So complicated
Yet so simple
We create an obstacle
Yet still stumble
Create solitude
We never run to
Are we just confused?
Or do we need to fail
Keep us grounded
Still searching for the grail
Act as Kings
Classic Royalty
Peasants solidify our place
In this lonely existence
This struggle with self-resistance
Takes the worth out of our faces
Combined dreams of equality
Reach minds without the power
To believe in possibilities
----

Found this the other day, I guess I wrote it a few months back. Kinda a work in progress still I think, maybe... lol Anyway, here you all are.

BTW I basically responded to everyone on the first page, If I missed you let me know and I'll check it out.

 

[SiGh]

I like it, your first 2 lines describe the poem as well!
Its looks so simply done, but each line has its on in-depth.

I enjoyed it very much. :thumb:

 

[Kadafi Son]

This couldn't be a work in progress. That way you worded the poem with its irony was real cool and something that should be paid attention to and recognized. Real tight

Peace

 

[C.J.Mak]

Tight poem!

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Cheers guys

 

[jm5471]

very nice piece, i really like the simplicity of the flow but gets the message across, keep up the good work

 

[Ivory$horty]

Short but sweet. I liked this. I can't quite put my finger on what exactly it is I like about it....maybe it's the realness about it, I don't know. Loved the last few lines...especially the last one.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

^Thanks

 

[ArtsyGirl]

93 views, 7 replies minus mine = 5 Thanks to those who did though.

 

[Kadafi Son]

93 views, 7 replies minus mine = 5 Thanks to those who did though.

I feel your pain, I got 2 poems on here with so many views but no replies. Kinda discourages me to post more:fury:

Edit: 3 poems unread

 

[ArtsyGirl]

I feel your pain, I got 2 poems on here with so many views but no replies. Kinda discourages me to post more:fury:

Post a link so I can looksie.. I'll scan the pages but I might not be on much longer... OK OK OK I'm lazy lol (plus ppl might peep urs thru here u never know )

 

[Kadafi Son]

Post a link so I can looksie.. I'll scan the pages but I might not be on much longer... OK OK OK I'm lazy lol (plus ppl might peep urs thru here u never know )

Here u go...still, I bet you'll be the only one 2 read mines. It's like traffic in here will neva be up

Parole
http://www.streethop.com/forum/thread170128.html

The Day I Synced With My Killah Instincts
http://www.streethop.com/forum/thread169874.html

Does Tha Souljah Find Love?
http://www.streethop.com/forum/thread169382.html

 

[*Riaz*]

very nice piece, i really like the simplicity of the flow but gets the message across, keep up the good work

agreed,
Very nice !!

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Here u go...still, I bet you'll be the only one 2 read mines. It's like traffic in here will neva be up

Parole
http://www.streethop.com/forum/thread170128.html

The Day I Synced With My Killah Instincts
http://www.streethop.com/forum/thread169874.html

Does Tha Souljah Find Love?
http://www.streethop.com/forum/thread169382.html

Cool, I'ma check those when I got some time.

Thanks Riaz

 

[Hi Hater]

Simplistic, yet completely complex.

We never run to
Are we just confused?
Or do we need to fail
Keep us grounded

I've felt sometimes like I was invincible only to be brought back down to earth.

Wonderful job. :thumb:

 

[KMSinya]

Self Destruction

Are we just confused?
Or do we need to fail
Keep us grounded
Still searching for the grail
Act as Kings
Classic Royalty
Peasants solidify our place
In this lonely existence
This struggle with self-resistance
Takes the worth out of our faces
Combined dreams of equality
Reach minds without the power
To believe in possibilities

This is the chunk of the poem that hit me the hardest. I enjoyed it.

 

[Jocka]

it's all perfect given the meaning of the poem .. great writing.

P.S. I'm still a fan..

 

[SicC]

its simplicity makes it a good read, its easy to obtain and understand, the style is very common placed and people can relate, it puts them in a comfort zone to say the least. keep up the good work.

pz

 

[kman_69]

another real nice drop!

loved the format on this one...

Combined dreams of equality
Reach minds without the power

^^fav line...really spoke 2 me...

keep em commin

peace.

 

[assassin_4001]

damn you really are artistic, this poem is like, i dont know, this is my hardest review, i dont know exactly why i like it, its just that i felt it u know, its just real you know, yet you cold've worked on your rhyming a bit more you know other then that its nice,,,
p.s i also like your opposite poem