Shadows Journal

Shadows

Well-Known Member
#1
I really don't have a topic, so I'm just going to go on a rant. Feel free to say whatever, but I am giving some insight, so you know a bit of what I'm talkin bout...

----------------------------------------------------------------

My Grandma has been ill for about a year with Cancer. They reduced the cancer Tumor and we thought she was fine but recently it gotcaused a bunch of things to go wrong, so she is in her final days/weeks/months at the hospital.

Pretty much, my whole family was at the there. My family is big. (Mexican Family)

Anyway,

A cpl of comments I heard from some ppl were "OMG, you see how (s)he is laughing. Grama is dying"

I HATE those comments.

We are in the waiting room. If our family is gathered, (and it's rare to have everyone together) why can't we laugh and catch up? We can't be miserable and not eating, like some. Do they think our Grama wants us not eating, sitting here looking pale? Like wtf? We had our sad moments, for a few hours, now let us rejoice and lift our spirits as we eat. We were there for 8+ hours, some even more.

My grama is pretty much on her death bed, in high spirits making jokes and stuff bc that's just how she is...and you could tell she was bothered by certain ppl that looked negative or had watery eyes.

I seriously think that some weren't even sad. I think they were looking to be seen as "sad" to make it seem like they Loved her more than others. Why do people do this? Am I wrong for making this judgement?

Before I left, someone asked what I was doing tomorrow.

I said, I'm probably going to go to work if they call me in, work out, and then go to the hospital.

They looked at me like, seriously?

I didn't respond to their body gesture and facial expression of shock...but later i thought...

Do people think it's heartless to try to continue your normal life when death is around the corner for someone else?

I feel like my only outlet is to work out and that's how I've dealt with Death before. I think that if I seclude myself to just the hospital sitting around, it would be hard for me to get out and continue my normal life. If I live my life half normal, I think it wont drag me down and take long for me to recover from the pain/sadness i will feel when she does pass.

Do people generally set themselves up for more pain?

I even thought that maybe continuing my life half normal would make me set myself up for more pain bc in the future i might think, damn, i could have spent more time with her.

???

I dunno.
 

EDouble

Will suck off black men for a dime
#2
every body deals with grief in different ways i would say if possible you all dont want to contribute to breaking the family down any more
 

Flipmo

VIP Member
Staff member
#4
Eastern European women shriek (especially when it's a tragedy) like they're being stabbed over and over again with an ice pick, even faint in some cases.
 

S O F I

Administrator
Staff member
#5
^they get paid to do that. lol

Shadows, late nights are an evil motherfucking cunt. Rarely do we have happy thoughts. Sunny mornings help.
 

Ristol

New York's Ambassador
#7
It's natural to laugh and catch up with your family under those circumstances, especially if you don't see each other much. I've been at a few bedsides in a few people's final hours, and there were always big laughs. All you can do sometimes.
 

_carmi

me, myself & us
#10
no it's not heartless to try to maintain some kind of normalcy when someone close to you is dying. some people need it, some people can't do it. you need to do what's best for you while making sure you have no regrets about it. you said days, months, or maybe years. i personally would keep going to work and school while making sure i visited my grandma every day. that's what i did back then when she was dying, and i would do it again in a heartbeat. i needed to get out, lighten up, see other people.

as for laughing and joking atg the hospital? i think it's needed. i'm sure your grandma appreciates greatly that the people around her aren't crying every single second by her side. and i noticed that most of the time people catch up at times like these where someone is very ill or at funeral homes. sadly, that's sometimes what it takes to get people together.

i think you are being healthy by going to work and laughingat the hospital with your grandma and other relatives. at the end of the day, each person has a different way to handle such situations. you do what you feel is best. it shoudn't be a competition about who looks more sad/depressed/etc.

i'm really sorry to hear that. these situations suck, i would know. just treasure each moments with her and remember her for these moments, but also the ones where she was healthier.
 

Shadows

Well-Known Member
#11
Thanks to everyone that responded or read my shit. I just needed somewhere to vent.

My grama is in a coma now, and she's on her last days or hours.

I pretty much am alone in this right now cuz some shit went down in my fam. smh.

but i got this.

thanks
 

Latest posts

Donate

Any donations will be used to help pay for the site costs, and anything donated above will be donated to C-Dub's son on behalf of this community.

Members online

No members online now.
Top