Soon-To-Be

[Jocka]

Haven't wrote in a while.. well not on here anyway. Thought I'd write something to express myself at this point in my life.

Soon-To-Be
Everything I feared as a child..
The reason I am who I was meant to be
The seed of a father that had no heart
That chose drugs over his own flesh and blood.

Soon-To-Be
The man I wished would tell me "Its ok. Go play".
Cold days would cause this spasmatic stutter
Like "wha wha why did he go.. duh does he love us?"
As we would hug eachother just me and my brothers
My mother left broken with her soul closing it's shutters
Left in the gutter with no one to love her.

Soon-To-Be
The man I wasn't afraid to call my family
That handed me love in baskets I couldn't lift
So heavy with anything but drugs and lost kids
And alcohol in a rugged, rage filled, bottled fist
Leaving us to assume it's our fault like we told him to go
Him holding our soul inbetween his fingers
Knowing the danger of becoming that lonely stranger

Soon-To-Be
The reason my child can't understand this poem.
Because from the womb to the hospital room
I will be too obsessed with caressing my blessing
And constantly stressing my uncondional love to you
True beyond means of the definition of truth
And never leaving without letting you know I'll be back
And it's not your fault that I'll EVER be lost or off track
Everything I ever hoped or resumed to dream
Will be awaiting your life.. or soon-to-be.

 

[jm5471]

wow i really liked this piece, it had a different kinda rhyme style that at first i couldnt pick up but when i did i enjoyed it more i like the emotion that you put into this piece too, keep it up

 

[kman_69]

fuck man, that shit was DEEP!! really feelin it, flow, rhymes, content...everything was spot on 100%!

keep em commin man!

peace

 

[Jocka]

thanx for the feedback.

 

[Synful*Luv]

I liked that ALOT Jocka, i was really feeling this from you :thumb:

 

[k69atie]

Wow, great piece of writing :thumb:

keep them coming

 

[Hymnz]

your work is very good..

 

[Jocka]

thanx for the feedback

 

[Kaos88]

that piece was top notch man...so much emotion n shit
well dun man

peace

 

[shattered dreams]

man, that poem really hit home for me,
I had the same problems with my father, and i am a soon to be mom. If i could write my feelings and express them, that would be it. Great job at the poem, connected to me really well.
Good job

 

[Jocka]

Thanx Kaos88.

And shattered dreams. It's some hard shit but in a way, it makes us stronger. I would never recommend anyone go through that but it did make me who I am today. oh.. and congrats

 

[Helena]

that was good...keep writin..u got talent

 

[Jocka]

^thanx

 

[Kadafi Son]

Damn Jocka...who taught u how 2 write?(Just Playin')

This is probably the best poem I ever read on here. I had the same problems as you and stuff, but you put it in a nice type of poem. i can't even explain how much i like this piece. You gotta do anotha one 4 me. Peace

 

[stryk]

excellent work sir

 

[Jocka]

thanx for the feedback. I write poems for my son every few days. I can't help but write them since I can't actually TELL him anything yet.

 

[Bender]

I do find 'personal pieces' hard to relate to, but saying that, it does go a long way with words to express 'the writers' feelings. Good job.

 

[Jocka]

Thanx

 

[The.Menace]

a nice poem, because you put your heart and soul in there. I feel like some of the rhymes actually could need some work but the msg just is so real and important that I don't seem to care.

Good luck Jocka.

 

[Jocka]

i didn't focus on the 'rhyme' scheme. It was more of a emotionally worded poem than a 'rhyming' poem. If you read it JUST RIGHT (i know it's hard, cuz your not the writer lol, believe me i know the feeling) then you can see the rhyme scheme fits the entire poem pretty good. The way I wrote it was.. well basically as if I was standing infront of my father telling him about what I planned to be. Like almost yelling at him, telling him how I was when I was growing up without him.. maybe that helps