sum shit

[Florida123]

i really don't write rhymes, but i wrote this in class today cuz i was bored and i thought i'd share (i know it sux but whatever)


growing up gangsta
not gotti
i don't order the hits
i shoot the shotty
y'all count the bodies
i'll fuck the hotties
and get toe' up
off that lime bacardi
fuck an i.d.
y'all know who i am
i kill for fun like the son of sam
this ain't no scam
robbin' morons & stans
then i'll get ghost like ja rule's fans
ha-ha...this ain't no joke
yeah i sold coke
yeah i smoke dope
but as y'all know
there ain't no hope
for a hopeless like me
from the N.Y.C.
so all y'all emcees
who come against me
you better do so mad gently
cause i got a short fuse
and you know i'll lose it
on any fool i choose, shit

 

[ARon]

Short lines but they will flow very nicely, cus of the length of course. Nice shit though.
Growin up gangsta not gotti i dont order the hits i shoot the shotti, nice shit right here, beautiful way to start out, likin the lines too, was a good way of saying what you tried to say, if that makes sense. But i like the flow even though it is a lil simple, keep it up, peace.

 

[Florida123]

haha thanks man...your shit is dope...i remember from before the forum crashed...i should take some lessons!

 

[Florida123]

for the strugglin youth

since that first rhyme was kinda telling a story of a thug, i thought i'd soften it up now with a different style:

it's hard to comprehend why we're here
is life a dream; or is it a nightmare
for far too many; the latter is true
but i know better dayz will come for you
even though your daddy's not around
and mommy smokes weed by the pound
thinking "it's me against the world"
with your dark skin and hair in curls
"over of these ghetto walls i can't climb
i'll be here until the end of time"
just look to the heavens for a guiding light
the lord can help you through the night
i won't lie and say it'll be easy
but who wants to be broke and sleazy
living like you said you never would
in the same old house
in the same old hood
around the same old thugs
sellin the same old drugs
but if you follow the rules
and stay loyal to the game
there's no stopping you
on your quest for fortune and fame

after reading this i guess it would make a better poem than rap...but imo the best rappers are poets on the mic

 

[ARon]

Simply put, beatiful. I like how you threw the album names in their too.
"I aint a rapper im a poet on the mic" forget who said it but its true. Your lines weren't as short, and if you noticed, you said a lot more, more meaning and so forth, im liking this though, peace.