The Begining

[ImmortalTech]

I kept the rhymes real simple, just cuz of the messege, drop some feedback. Keep in mind if it was just off the dome, wasnt really fixed up, just typed it as it came to my head, and that was the end of it:
-------------

We been doing it before Tony pushed the coke//
before cancer was sold with a pack of smokes//
before the president fabricated the world biggest hoax//
before our people forgot their home//
before canibus learned to spit off the dome//
before the rise of the empire in rome//
before the crusade and even before christ//
before paper money, and before the "ice"//
before Gene Hackman pulled off "the Heist"//
before it was civilized to eat food at tables//
and even before Kane did Able//
Before dre started Death Row and left the label//
Before the the national anthem was replaced by the blues//
and before lies were propagated as news//
Before the rise of hitler and the prosecution of jews//
Before the jews, entered Philisteen and started taking their land//
Before dessert storm, and millions of kids lost in the sand//
even before eminem started making the band//
Before we started killin eachother using tech's and nines//
Before terrorism, and before international crime//
Yes its hard to beleive, but we been sinnin since the begining of time//

~peace

 

[CalcuoCuchicheo]

I like the message but the repetitiveness of 'before' really wears me down.

While this repetiitveness may've been intended, IMO, it would be better if you lost it & just switched words up.

Use a theasaurus if you have to.

 

[Emma]

I like them simple, makes em easier for me to understand lol anyways .. like Calcuo said the repetition of 'before' is a bit of a throw off but I guess it could work well. The rhyming's good. Nice message. It's a good drop :thumb:

 

[ImmortalTech]

... tru, i just thought i'ld keep repeating before, to try and make it a lil more poetic... i didnt know it would get annoying, lol

 

[bigCASH]

yeah this was pretty nice

 

[WayCide-Ridah]

yo, immortal, i liked this, i could really hear it if someone was coming off the dome, simple, but str8 to the point. I like this one too

 

[Confucius87]

I liked the concept of it, that was tight. It had a nice flow to it, and it was original