The Bridge of Opposites

[Hennessy]

replied to menace, kman and kat.
-----------------------------------


Her and I, sitting alone on the dock.
The doorway to my heart was not open, she knocked.
I stare down and watch as water meets my eye.
Looking in an opposite direction i can still see the sky.
As moonlight hits the ocean, a reflection occurs.
One of white light on liquid, mixed with a reflection of her.
Sitting beside me, oblivious to all of my thoughts.
I'm unaware if she sees what i see in the water or not.
Subconsciously i realize a symbolic occurance.
My eyes drift like the water and they follow the currents.
I glance to my left, see our hands interlocked.
Sitting on the lake yet connected to land by the dock.
It's very similar;
A created structure that unites two different forces.
Unnatural at first, so it must be built to support this.
Earth and Water, natural opposites as life debuted.
Male and Female, both take a choice to combine the two.
Our hands are a symbol of choice, a symbol of one.
The moon is a symbol of time, soon it will switch to the sun.
And the water i stare at that is reflecting its light
Shows that all forces work together for the connection tonight
As the tide hits the dock i hear a voice: immunity.
Which will remain as long as we hold on to this choice of unity.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Amazing, I really love that. And you had great word usage, nearly lost me around the middle but overall a great poem. Well Done.

 

[The.Menace]

I like this over all, loved the first part, kinda didn't feet the second part as much.... but definatley creative, that's what I like about it.

 

[Tha Thug Poet]

dang man your still going strong. great word usage Webster LMAO. just playing but that ish was great.

Subconsciously i realize a symbolic occurance.
My eyes drift like the water and they follow the currents.
I glance to my left, see our hands interlocked.
Sitting on the lake yet connected to land by the dock.
As the tide hits the dock i hear a voice: immunity.
Which will remain as long as we hold on to this choice of unity.


those would be the best lines in my opinion

 

[GhettoStar]

replied to menace, kman and kat.
-----------------------------------


Her and I, sitting alone on the dock.
The doorway to my heart was not open, she knocked.
I stare down and watch as water meets my eye.
Looking in an opposite direction i can still see the sky.
As moonlight hits the ocean, a reflection occurs.
One of white light on liquid, mixed with a reflection of her.
Sitting beside me, oblivious to all of my thoughts.
I'm unaware if she sees what i see in the water or not.
Subconsciously i realize a symbolic occurance.
My eyes drift like the water and they follow the currents.
I glance to my left, see our hands interlocked.
Sitting on the lake yet connected to land by the dock.
It's very similar;
A created structure that unites two different forces.
Unnatural at first, so it must be built to support this.
Earth and Water, natural opposites as life debuted.
Male and Female, both take a choice to combine the two.
Our hands are a symbol of choice, a symbol of one.
The moon is a symbol of time, soon it will switch to the sun.
And the water i stare at that is reflecting its light
Shows that all forces work together for the connection tonight
As the tide hits the dock i hear a voice: immunity.
Which will remain as long as we hold on to this choice of unity.

You have always been one of my fav. on here and Im glad that you have decided to psot this. The style and way that you speak in this flow is great, I believe they call it 1st person? But besdie that the The imagery is great and I can visulize the video to this piece if it was spoken, almost like that of a story. The thing that makes this even more impressive is that alot of your ending rhymes are one syllable; however, this does not takle away from the depth and poetic value of this piece, a rare feat for some who do not have an understanding of this. Again this is great stuff and if you win the award of poet laurette on here, this piece should be an example of you markship.

 

[Hennessy]

wow, thanks. nice feed!

and WHAT UP TTP

 

[The_Destroyer]

Good piece, good piece indeed. Keep writing!

 

[Kadafi Son]

GOT DAMN. I was just goin' thru the forum and looked over your poem and was like FUCK! I'mma go with Thug Poets opinion. I can't really say my opinion cuz everybody else already pointed it out. Your Depth in this is 100% like a Playstation 4. Your vocab? Webster shit...lol. I also like the way you made comparisons to the female and ya'll surrounding. DAMN. Do another one, please

 

[~live2tell~]

You never fail to impress I guess

Great drop, fantastic word usage from start to finish, you created some brilliant sentences, and I loved the imagery displayed throughout the piece. Hope you're good.

 

[Elmira]

As the tide hits the dock i hear a voice: immunity.

I love what I see when I read that line. Over and over again... probably the most powerful line in the poem.

Tide hits the dock. Tide: a flowing stream, the waters of the ocean. The ocean, for all it's size, is maybe the one thing that can compare to love's sheer grandeur, for all it can hold. Tide hits. Love hits you. And at that moment, as it engulfs, you feel, (the voice? your own?), immunity. You feel invincible, on your own. And for you both, you and her, you and the love, you understand that love is the ultimate weapon. A proper defense, shield for death... and every obstacle.

Do I even need to say what I think about the poem now? Hah.

 

[KMSinya]

That was deep, but shallow enough not to lose your readers. I love the metaphor of the bridge of opposites and you explain your metaphors without watering down your writing. Excellent work man!

 

[Jocka]

For whatever reason, when I read this, I heard the song "sitting at the dock of the bay" .. ah well. Nice stuff u got there.

 

[SicC]

Henne this was a tight joint bro, it was so smooth that i could envision it all perfectly in my head. keep up the good work.

pz

 

[kman_69]

fuckin awesome flow on this one man...

Subconsciously i realize a symbolic occurance.
My eyes drift like the water and they follow the currents.

^^really feelin that line....

cool drop man, not critisism here man!

peace!

 

[assassin_4001]

Earth and Water, natural opposites as life debuted.
Male and Female, both take a choice to combine the two.
Goddamn!!!!!!!
the way you wrote ur whole poem, you should be proud, i realy mean it, if i knew how to write like this i would be really proud, everything from ur rhyming scheme to ur vocab usage, your one talented brother mashallah
keep up the good work and i wish to see more poems from you