To Face

#1
I get the feeling not many people like my posts, but maybe that could lead to some constructive-criticism on this poem I wrote called 'To Face'.

Looking in, only to see one,
Makes me coin in my new terms.
Born a Son within two twins,
When I brake bread I get burned.

Finding it hard when in some states,
Two faces make up a 'phor.
I met a poor man with no stout,
And said 'here's a coin, buy it some more'.

Virgin Mary always looks at me stole,
2 see my son without having sex.
Burned agian on face of Earth,
Facing my past without the 'ex.

Now I don't, even when I see,
Using two to make it real.
I want to face it this time round,
With feeling as hard as seal.

I look now and I face,
Jesus holding 2 palms in hand.
He coined at what was broken,
Same old terms but with new plans.
 

Kadafi Son

Well-Known Member
#3
Eh, I never really saw you in here, but wats sup.

I gotta be honest, I didn't really understand what you were trying to get across. At times I did, but maybe it's just me. Do some more and I'll get back at ya. Peace
 
#4
Talk about thought provoking! I have to say it's a great piece of writing (as usual)... and well you always write these mind bending pieces too - and usually I can pull some sort of understanding from your writing but this one has me stumped!

Would appreciate you taking the time out just to explain it a lil more as I really like the way in which it has been written.
 
#5
Thanks for all your comments :thumb:

I could break this poem down and pick it apart, but it wouldn't do any good to explain the poem.

What needs explaining? I picked a theme and wrote about it, quite simple really.
 

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