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[xXHizzo.M40Xx]

Lord, from the depths I cry to you,
Please stop this pain, from the heart I’m begging you,
Caught up about the fallen stars which brighten my night,
Lord, where is my angel, has it left and taken flight?
Left me alone, in this solitude I cry,
I try to be real, honestly I try…
So much unhappiness around, how can I sleep,
Dreaming of better days, when I wake I can only weep,
Each forsaken tear, carrying a faded memory,
Still frames of the days that are missed,
What have I done to deserve this anguish?
Why have you never stopped the rain, or any of this pain?
Is this the connotation to life?
To live is to suffer, and bare all this strife,
20 years I have lived and my eyes are already tired
I have been through everything, am I ready to retire?
Worn by the bitter reality we live in
Clutching to the scraps of happiness that have already been lost,
I’m only trying to live; To be happy is my only dream

 

[~live2tell~]

I thought this a really good poem. Alot of what you have written are my own thoughts... parts felt like you were speaking directly at me so I can definitely relate to what you are portraying.

I felt the end was a lil rushed maybe? It didn't rhyme along with the rest but still nevertheless was good, and I feel a universal dream.

Keep writing.

 

[jm5471]

i liked ur flow and the way u relayed ur thoughts good shit keep it up

I have been through everything, am I ready to retire?
Worn by the bitter reality we live in
Clutching to the scraps of happiness that have already been lost,
I’m only trying to live; To be happy is my only dream

that was my favorite part

 

[Florida123]

this part really hit me

"20 years I have lived and my eyes are already tired"

i feel the same way...i am 20 too and sometimes i feel the weight of the world is too much to bear sometimes...good piece here

 

[Levendi]

very sad man...speaks to the heart you know, most people have felt this way at one time or another, just hold on, be strong...

"Caught up about the fallen stars which brighten my night,
Lord, where is my angel, has it left and taken flight?"

"So much unhappiness around, how can I sleep,
Dreaming of better days, when I wake I can only weep"

"20 years I have lived and my eyes are already tired
I have been through everything, am I ready to retire?"


Those were my favourite parts, keep up the good work...

 

[shattered dreams]

i liked and felt this poem a lot, says alot of the stuff i say nicely written.
favorite lines were

Lord, from the depths I cry to you,
Please stop this pain, from the heart I’m begging you,
Caught up about the fallen stars which brighten my night,
Lord, where is my angel, has it left and taken flight?
Left me alone, in this solitude I cry,
I try to be real, honestly I try…
So much unhappiness around, how can I sleep,
Dreaming of better days, when I wake I can only weep,

 

[-Daniel-]

Why does everyone use 'forsaken' in relation to that holy? Even I do it myself ALL the time.

I like the stars and angels reference.
It was all good.

 

[Buck_Buck_Bing]

wicked, keep up the good work, i really enjoyed, one of the better poems i have read on here.